Pieces of Me
by LadyYuina
Summary: -COMPLETE- This is my version of what happened in Tsuzuki and Hisoka's pasts. Hisoka and Tsuzuki falls into one loop after another as they struggle to stay on top and make it through to the end. Whenever that end will come.
1. Prologue: Remember the Past

Disclaimer: I do not and will never own YnM, all the characters are the sole property of Yoko Matsushita. I'm merely borrowing them.

Hi, everyone! This is my first time writing a fanfic so be nice with the comments if you happen to find some mistakes. I'm really excited of this new project of mine, I already have a layout for my story. The first five chapters will be based on Hisoka, the second half will be Tsuzuki's if I get that far. Hope you all enjoy! And please do give me feedback, I'd appreciate it!

Pieces of Me

Prologue: Remember the Past

By: LadyYuina

Hisoka slowly crawled over to his usual corner and wearily looked outside the window. The sun was gradually setting, taking it's time as it made it's way below the horizon. The sand colored haired boy looked down when he felt the contact of soft, warm fur lightly brush against his left leg.

"Hey, Mamoru," Hisoka whispered.

Mamoru responded with a 'meow.'

"The sun is almost gone for the day, we can go outside soon." Hisoka gently rubbed his hand across his cat's back which caused Mamoru to lean into his caress and purr. "I'm glad they let me keep you. . . without you. . . I wouldn't have a friend." At that instance, vivid memories of the past flooded through him.

--Flashback--

"Hisoka. . . I have a gift for you, come look," his mother cooed.

Hisoka nervously stared at her as he felt for her emotions but none surfaced. She had skillfully concealed them; when she had mastered such a technique Hisoka would never know.

Inching forward, he asked, "what is it?"

"Come on, honey, he won't bite."

Peering down inside the boy Hisoka saw a scrawny weak kitten lying on it's side trembling. It looked to be on the brink of death. He was mortified.

"Don't you think he's cute?" his mother asked, clearly enjoying the expression on her son's pale face.

When Hisoka didn't respond he could feel his mother's anger in waves thrashing at his helpless mind. Clutching his head, he collapsed to the floor. "You don't like my gift, eh? Well, how about I just slaughter it and throw it down on the cellar with you? The neighbors were nice enough to hand this kitten over for you!" His mother ranted on and on, her face contorted with pure rage.

"No! Please don't kill it! I like the gift! I really do!" Hisoka pleaded. He got down on his hands and knees before his mother's feet. "I'll take good care of it!"

His mother eyed him, her anger subsiding somewhat but it still hurt him to be near her. She sighed in pity. "You're such a disgrace. . . now, take that filthy thing back into the cellar and stay there."

"Yes, madam."

--Flashback (END)--

Hisoka snapped back from his reverie as Mamoru continued to purr under his administrations. "You know, sometimes I wonder why I was given this power. Everybody treats me like a freak, all I ever feel is anger, disappointment. . . pity. Me. . . the first born son, the fifth child so far, the only one alive. . . and yet, "they" all hate me." As if on cue Mamoru climbed atop his owner's lap and licked his hand gently.

"Thanks, I needed that."

--Flashback--

Hisoka stared at the little sand colored kitten, the color that reminded him so much of his own hair. A small smile escaped his lips when the kitten looked up at him, a bittersweet smile it was. The kitten had the same eye color as him as well. He knew his mother did this on purpose. . . to get a cat that resembled him in more ways than one.

First off, he was small and weak much like himself. He was hated by all for being that way, just as Hisoka was hated for his empathy. No one wanted a runt; always considering the better bunch from the herd. The runts were simply put as 'outcasts.' The minority. . .

"Meow."

A faint cry.

"It's okay, kitty. I'm here." Hisoka told his new kitten reassuringly.

"Meow." Another weak cry.

"What shall I call you?" Hisoka asked. "You wouldn't want the name kitty, do you?"

"Meow."

"I'll protect you from harm, kitty. . . protect. . . that's it! I'll call you Mamoru!" Mamoru merely looked up at the excited boy with bleary green orbs. "We'll take good care of each other, just you and me, no one else, right?"

--Flashback (END)--

"Hisoka!" he heard his mother call.

"Yes?" He scrambled to his feet, startling Mamoru as he was thrown off his lap. "Sorry, but I can't let her see me moping like this in the corner. She'll get mad."

Mamoru looked up at him as if he understood him. Hisoka knew he would, no one knew him better than his only friend; not even his parents. . .

"Hisoka!" she called again. "Get up here now!"

"Coming!" he hollered back.

Gulping down the lump in his throat, Hisoka walked through the door and into the light, to his mother.


	2. Chapter 1: Lies

Disclaimer: I do not and will never own YnM, all the characters are the sole property of Yoko Matsushita. I'm merely borrowing them.

I'm pretty sure that this chapter will be my longest one out of the others. There was just so much to say, I couldn't help but splurge . . . ya know what I mean? Quite a bit of flashbacks in this chapter . . . And I am happy to see that other people are enjoying my story. I'm not alone! Please do leave more reviews when you're done reading, they encourage me a lot!

Pieces of Me

Chapter 1: Lies

By: LadyYuina

Hisoka was sat at the dinner table with food placed before him. Though his parents mistreated him they'd never think of starving him . . . that would be murder. It would lead to eventual death . . .

In an almost too sweet voice, Ms. Kurosaki said, "after you're done eating go get cleaned up, you're awfully dirty."

"Yes, madam." Hisoka snuck some food into a napkin and hid it away from view.

Hisoka's mother and father were in many ways different when it came to their ruling over their only son. His father was more the gentler type in nature. He just occasionally ranted out some disappointments at him along with some minor beatings. Hisoka's mother did some pretty bad things but none that were life threatening. At every misgiving, failure and rejections she had ever received she'd blame it all on her son. Her anger truly scared him more than anything else.

Her crazy mood swings . . .

In the safety of the tub Hisoka relaxed his tired muscles. He knew what was in store for him tonight.

Father . . .

Hisoka slightly cringed when his father beckoned him over to the dojo they had that was at the side of their house.

"Put on your usual attire, it's time to do some training," he said.

Hisoka was more at ease with his father; his emotions were more detached and refrained for Hisoka to feel. Unlike his mother's which were always like a full blown tidal wave. Most times it hurt to be near her.

"Show me the stance," he commanded.

Hisoka raised his bokken, spreading his legs out in the proper measure required.

"Swing up and then down, smoothly now."

He did as he was told only to be whacked on the top of his head by his father's weapon. "That was sloppy, you can do better than that!"

"Sorry," Hisoka muttered.

"What was that? Speak up, boy!"

"I'm sorry," Hisoka said in a louder voice.

Small waves of disappointment washed over him, he knew that these feelings radiated from his father . . . Or, was it him? At times it was hard for the boy to distinguish his feelings from another persons.

"Now once more."

Hisoka literally trained all night with his bokken until his father was satisfied with his stance and swings. A weary Hisoka returned to the cellar with Mamoru awaiting him behind the large oak door.

"Meow."

Slowly, he bent over and scooped him up into his arms. Mamoru immediately started to purr. Hisoka liked the small vibrations that echoed from Mamoru's chin when his head was placed on his thigh.

--Flashback--

"Here, eat this," Hisoka said, thrusting food towards the kitten. It was a piece of meat he snuck from the kitchen when he was eating his dinner. The kitten merely turned its head away, eyes full of fear.

"You gotta eat something to survive, Mamoru!"

Once more Hisoka placed the piece of meat before his pet. Reluctantly he sniffed it but soon started to eat it. In just two swallows the meat was completely gone. Mamoru looked up at his Master, expecting more to be handed out.

"Sorry, but that was all I had left. I promise I will bring you more tomorrow."

"Meow."

The sand colored haired child was a little amused when he saw Mamoru try to get up but was forced back down when his legs gave way. Cautiously he reached a hand over and picked him up, rubbing the kitten's back as he was placed on his lap. Mamoru started to purr; as always.

"We're really alike, aren't we? But together . . . I believe that we can be strong."

--Flashback (END)--

The next say Hisoka was happy that he could spend some time with his friend, Satoshi. This apparently was the last time they were going to be able to see each other. Nearly all his friends were driven away with lies.

Lies. Liars bring nothing but pain . . .

"Where's your cat, Hisoka?" Satoshi asked.

"He's fine, he's sleeping right now so don't worry."

"And . . . how are you feeling today? Your mother told me that your condition has gotten worse. You do look awfully pale," Satoshi worriedly noted.

"I'm okay, there's no need to worry."

Lies . . .

"By the way, where are Mariko, Oto and the Nishi twins? I thought they were going to come over too?"

"They're all busy, we can play without them," Hisoka answered. From the look on his friend's face Hisoka felt like he wanted to do him in; beat him and shout in his face to accept what he was offered right now. Not of what could be . . . that possibility had been long gone . . .

"But . . ." Satoshi trailed off.

There was a gentle knock on the door and Ms. Kurosaki peered in. Hisoka could feel her eyes bore into the back of his skull as he didn't dare turn around to face her.

"How are you boys doing? I thought you two would like some chocolate cake and milk," she said a false cheery voice. Hisoka's mother's behavior disgusted him, he hated how his mother acted in front of his friends. Trying to be all sweet and innocent around them; but there was more to her than meets the eyes. So much more.

"I'll place these on the table right here, please help yourselves if you happen to get hungry!" Before she closed the door behind her she eyed her son briefly, a distasteful look was etched onto her delicate features. If she weren't so cold-hearted and awful to her son he'd have thought of her as a pretty woman instead of an old, ugly hag. Pain seared through him as his mother's emotions clearly shown through her disguise for a mere second that she stood by the doorway. Hisoka winced.

"You okay?" Satoshi asked, a frown marred his ever so cheerful features.

"I'm fine," Hisoka lied.

"You sure?" his friend pressed on.

"I'm fine!" Hisoka snapped. Large green orbs widened further as he felt a whiplash of confusion beat at his senses. A quick apology was issued. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell like that."

"No worries, I'm pretty sure you didn't mean to. But, boy, I do wish that the others could have come over; it would've been more fun."

That last sentence that Satoshi spoke stung at Hisoka, like a bee jabbing at you over and over. The pain only deepened. "Are you implying that I'm no fun?" Accusations were being pursued.

"No, no! I never said that! Sorry if you feel that way," Satoshi replied. "Well . . . what should we play first?"

Hisoka hated to admit it but he realized that he was becoming more bitter by the minute. The inclination of being no fun was one of the signs that he was truly heading down a lonesome road, heading down the road most likely alone. Not even Mamoru could compensate this misery he felt.

Liars only bring pain . . .

"What do you want to play?" Hisoka asked, none too happily.

Satoshi decided to ignore the foul mood his friend had just wished to explore. "How about that game board over there?" He pointed to one in the corner.

This amused Hisoka to no end; here he was in his room, surrounded by toys and games but he never got to use this again. This room wasn't even his room anymore, his place was in cellar . . . with Mamoru. Ever since the day his mother and father found out that he had empathy as a power.

--Flashback--

"Mommy, why are you sad?" Hisoka asked, his big green eyes looked up at her heaving form.

"I'm not sad, what makes you say that?" She immediately straightened her posture and wiped at her moist cheeks.

"You are. I can feel it," he continued.

"Feel . . . it?"

Hisoka nodded his head. "I can feel your sadness, it makes my head hurt, please stop."

"Don't kid around with your own mother, you know it isn't nice," she uneasily joked. She knew in her child's eyes that he was not telling a lie. The worst part of it all was that it was her own dearest son that possessed this so called empathy. One tragedy after another . . . When will it all end?

"I'm not," Hisoka reasoned. "I'm telling the-"

"Truth," his mother finished for him. Her entire demeanor changed as fear overtook her. She kept crying out, "not again, oh my god, not again!"

Mr. Kurosaki burst onto the scene wanting to see what all the ruckus was about. "What's the matter? Why are you screaming like a crazed woman?"

Fear, confusion and anger hailed down on Hisoka like acid rain. Clutching at his head he shouted, "please stop! Make the pain go away!" Within seconds he blacked out, the last thing he saw was the agonized look on his father's face.

When he finally came to he saw his parent mumbling to each other beside his bed side.

"Oh! Hisoka, you're finally awake! How do you feel?" his father asked him.

Hisoka's eyes traveled from his father to rest on his mother. She back away, crying out, "demon's child! By god, it's happened again!" Hisoka winced as her fear pelted down on his feeble mind.

"Rumi, darling, calm down. Hisoka is not a demon child, I'm . . . sure of it." Mr. Kurosaki placed strong hands on his wife's shoulders to reassure her.

"He is, I know it! He said . . . he said he can feel your emotions!" she cried hysterically.

"Mommy, you're hurting my head, please stop!"

"See! See! He is a demon's child!"

"It hurts," Hisoka complained.

"Hisoka . . ." His father's voice was barely audible. He reached out to touch his son but faltered.

--Flashback (END)--

"Hisoka, yo, are you with me?"

"What?" Hisoka muttered, snapping back to the present.

"You spaced out on me," Satoshi said. "For a moment I couldn't reach you."

"I'm fine."

"I'm fine? Is that all you can say?" Satoshi whispered. "I'm worried about you and all you can ever say is that you're fine? I wonder," sarcasm filled his every word, "perhaps you drove away all our other friends?"

"No. I'd never do such a thing!" Hisoka was completely stupefied by his friend's indictment. "What makes you say this?"

"Well, it seems like you're trying to drive me away. Perhaps your illness has gotten to you, goodbye Hisoka. I know this is the last time that I can see you, I wish you luck in life." He got up and walked out of the bedroom door. Hisoka was flabbergasted.

Liars only bring pain but the truth can too . . .

Before Hisoka knew it tears were streaming down his pale cheeks. As if on a time watch his mother coolly strolled in. "Oh, poor baby, your friend has just left. What did you two do?" she asked.

Hisoka simply cried harder when he felt his mother's emotions: they were of pure joy.

"Tsk, tsk, you're such a bad boy, you disgusting demon's child. No one loves you, neither I or your father . . . nor any of your friends. You drove them all away yourself!"

"That's not true!" Hisoka said defensively.

"Oh? Prove it."

"You . . . told all my friends that I was sick and lied to them all!"

"Indeed but it is not I that drove them all away; you did." Ms. Kurosaki crossed her fingers over her silky kimono. "You made them all go away. Besides, you truly are sick, feeling other peoples' emotions . . . that's not normal. A normal child of the age of seven can never do that!"

"I never wanted this power!" Hisoka argued. "I hate it!"

"There are a lot of things people hate, but you just have to deal with it. Like the way I have to deal with you! Your wretched father won't let me toss you in with the garbage!"

With the garbage . . .

Those words hit Hisoka like a ton of bricks. A mother willing to toss away her child was truly a sad thought. Immense pain ringed around inside his head but he didn't seem to notice. It was practically true . . . he did drive his friends away . . . The truth dawned on him.

--Flashback--

"Hi, Hisoka, your mother told us about your illness. You never told us that it was this serious," Mariko said. "And I also want to mention that Satoshi couldn't come today, something came up."

"What illness?" Hisoka asked. He knew his devious mother was up to something.

"Oh? You haven't even heard about it yet? Hideaki questioned. Hisoka shook his head.

"Maybe your mother didn't want to break the news to you too soon," Mariko added.

Confused, Hisoka asked, "what's my illness?"

"Um . . . she said you have a disease that has no known cure to man. She said we won't be able to see you anymore because eventually you'll be in intensive care at the hospital. She wants us to let you be so you will have the time to recover," Oto explained.

"What!" Hisoka could not believe what he had just heard from his friends' mouths. His mother was feeding them lies!

"We'll be here for you till that day comes even if our bodies aren't our spirits will be here to support you," Hidetoshi said. He placed a gentle hand on Hisoka who flinched away.

"She's lying! She always does!" Hisoka shrieked. His friends gaped at him, they believed that Hisoka was in denial of his own illness.

"Calm down, Hisoka. We know that you wouldn't believe it, that's why your mother didn't tell you yet," Mariko fussed. "Maybe I shouldn't have told you." Her voice sounded full of guilt.

"She's lying I tell you!" He knew this was futile. Wave after wave of pity swept over him.

"Hisoka," Oto whispered.

"Everyone get out!" They all threw him a confused expression but Hisoka continued to rant. "Everyone get out, I don't want to see you guys again! Don't even come near my house ever again!"

"Hisoka, you're just not feeling well. You can't really mean what you just said," Mariko hopefully said. She was on the verge of spilling tears.

"I have no illness! Can't you see?" In actuality, he didn't look convincing to his friends at all.

"You want us to leave now?" Hideaki asked.

"Yes! I don't ever want to see you all again! You're all making my head hurt, get away from me!"

Mariko started to cry, the other three lead her out of the room. After that Hisoka blacked out.

--Flashback (END)--

Hisoka collapsed to his knees as the truth finally resurfaced. He had hid it in the back of his mind, hoping to forget that nasty event. His mother had made it come back to him . . .

"Lies only bring pain but the truth can too," Hisoka whispered. "I'm awful. . ."


	3. Chapter 2: It Hurts Deep Down Inside

Disclaimer: I do not and will never own YnM, all the characters are the sole property of Yoko Matsushita. I'm merely borrowing them.

Sped up the updating because my comp is gonna get a makeover . . . Until this is done this will be the last chapter I'll post for a bit. Here's the next piece. Enjoy! And sorry about cliffhangers, I tend to write my fic like that but not all chapters have cliffhangers. This one doesn't. Bear with me. P

Pieces of Me

Chapter 2: It Hurts Deep Down Inside

By: LadyYuina

Hisoka placed his ear against the cellar door located right by the side of the kitchen. He could hear a conversation his mother and her friends were having.

"Where's your son?" one of them asked.

"He's in bed, his illness is really getting to him, he might have to be placed in the hospital soon."

"Oh, is it that bad?" another one of her friends asked.

"Taeko, he's doing fine, but yes he isn't in the best of shape."

"Can we go see him?" Taeko asked.

"It'd be better if we let him sleep. He's very tired," Ms. Kurosaki said. Hisoka was sick of it so he went away from the cold door.

"Mamoru, where are you?" he asked. A pair of yellowish-green orbs stared back at him in the dim-lit room.

"Meow . . . meooowww."

"Oh, there you are, come here. I want to tell you something." To Hisoka's surprise he jumped upon his lap and sat down; staring up at him intently. "I hate the way mother talks about me to her friends. I don't need all their sympathy, I need no one's consideration for my well-being . . . I need no one but you, Mamoru."

"Meow."

"I know you don't pity me. You're in the same boat as I am, we can ride through the storm together, right?" Hisoka looked out the window and down the street to where children were merrily playing. A pained expression crossed over his features as he saw his friends cross the street to the candy shop. He used to do that with them but that was no longer possible. His parents had locked him away from the world, from it's prying eyes.

Six years later 

Dusk blanketed the entire planet. Hisoka was let out of his hell-hole. Now that he was older he was let outside at night; his parents didn't really care where he wandered off to as long as he returned home at the appointed time they set for him.

Tonight, he made it the time that he went to visit each of his friends. It was rather strange but he felt like his life was going to end soon . . . Hisoka softly chuckled at his own demented thoughts . . . My life ending soon? It seems like it had already faded long ago . . .

The first person on his list was Mariko who immediately opened up her window to him. "Hisoka!" she gasped. "I thought . . ." Her brown eyes looked him over with uncertainty, they reminded Hisoka of the day when he told his friends to leave . . .

Faking a smile, he said, "don't worry, my intensive care unit program has ended. The doctor said I could stay home but I can't overexert myself."

"Oh, I'm glad." Mariko placed her arms around her sand colored haired friend in a gentle embrace. A moment of silence passed between the two. "So . . . what brought you here?"

"I, uh, this may sound strange but . . . I came to say goodbye."

Brown eyes widened. "Why?"

"I feel the need to, I feel as if something bad is going to happen to me," Hisoka poured out his thoughts to his only female friend. His usually dull green orbs dulled even further if it were even possible.

"You shouldn't think that way, after all, we haven't seen each other for six years. Was your intensive care program end some time ago?" Hisoka nodded. "Then . . . how come I never saw you outside?"

It hurts deep down inside . . .

"I can't explain it . . . it's much too complicated."

"You know, I still remember that day. Very clearly in fact." Mariko hugged her legs towards herself letting her chin rest lightly on her knees. Her eyes were downcast.

"Me too."

"I understood," Mariko replied. "I mean, afterwards, I understood."

"Huh?"

"Your head hurting, it was from the illness and all our shouting, wasn't it?" She cocked her head to the side; staring at him.

Hisoka was slightly startled but regained his usual posture quickly. He was going to lie. "Uh, yeah, I guess; I can't really remember." Mariko let out a soft giggle. That alone warmed up Hisoka's heart but yet it made it ache too. "Well, I gotta be going, bye." Before he even moved from his spot beside his female companion, he added, "tell the others goodbye for me too, in case I don't see them."

"But . . ." Mariko paused, nodding her head slowly. "Okay."

Without looking back at Mariko's house he walked down the street. His next stop was Oto's house; peering through his bedroom window he saw him slouched over his work desk. Oto bolted upright and looked around him until his eyes landed on the window as Hisoka quietly tapped on it. Hisoka could see movement of his mouth saying his name. Oto came over to his window allowing Hisoka access.

"Hisoka, you're . . . here," he said uneasily.

"It's okay if you feel uneasy. Hehe, we haven't seen each other for six years." Hisoka ran a hand through his short bangs momentarily.

"Has it really been that long?" Oto asked incredulously.

"Yeah." Oto stared over at his desk, Hisoka's eyes followed suit. "What are those papers for?"

"Research . . . my dad, you see, we're really into the planets, stars and whatnot," Oto explained. "The universe basically."

"I see."

"So, how has life been treating you?"

Hisoka thought about it and realized that it was painful. "Meh, I doing all right," he lied.

"Cool."

"Hey, what time is it?"

"Eleven forty-five, why?"

"Damn, I gotta be home by twelve," Hisoka said, exasperated.

"Curfew, huh?" Oto teased.

"Yeah. I want to tell you something before I go though, this is rushing it a bit but I'm running out of time." Oto looked at him quizzically. "I want to say goodbye, I believe this will be the last time that we'll meet."

"Huh? Why?" Oto uttered. "We see each other again and now you're saying goodbye?"

Heh, he sounds just like Mariko. "I just feel like my time is coming . . ."

"That's crazy! You want to commit suicide!"

Hisoka blinked several times, that thought had never occurred to him. "No."

"Good, but then why are you saying goodbye to me?"

"I can't really explain it, god damn it, Oto! I'm already going to be late!" Hisoka crawled out the window, not bothering to check if Oto was angry with him or not with his pitiful crying. There was no need to though; he felt it . . . it wasn't anger he was feeling but shock. Quickly he jogged back into his house. He was one minute late.

"You're late," his mother told him, standing tall like a castle wall that was about to collapse at any second.

Cowering before her Hisoka could only mumble, "I'm sorry."

"You know what this means right?"

"Yes . . ."

"Masahiko!" she called.

"Yes, dear?" came his reply.

Eyeing her son viciously, she scoffed, "come show your son what happens when he breaks the time that he was allotted to." Deep down the green eyed boy's chest was hurting, not physically but emotionally.

"Come on," his father ordered as he lead him to the dojo.

Hisoka got down on his hands and knees, he knew what he was in store for. A beating. Hisoka hated this since his father showed him no mercy when he whipped him. In the end his rear would become swollen and red, the worst part was he was given no medication or ice packs.

The sand colored haired boy's wails rung around the dojo; a deadly echo. He felt so detached, his chest hurt like nothing he had ever felt before. Far more worse than the beating could provide, slowly, he knew he was becoming sour from the inside out.

Resentment . . .?

Hisoka's rear end was stinging and it only became utterly unbearable when his father landed another blow. Tears blurred his vision, Mamoru's soft meowing came to mind.

He'll protect me . . .

The beating finally ended when Hisoka fell in a heap on the dojo floor. He knew the next day he would have to clean up the fifthly mess that he created before himself. Sweat mingled with tears.

The only words he heard from his father was, "take it easy."

The boy didn't know whether to laugh in self pity or cry out in anguish. He took the second choice, letting his voice be heard around inside the dojo; he made sure of it. He laid in the spot where he had fallen, not having the strength to move, neither caring to do so. Thoughts of his early childhood came onto him like a uplifting plight.

--Flashback--

"That's it, slow easy steps. There you go!" his mother cheered.

"Mommy!" Hisoka chirped as he fell into his mother's loving embrace.

"Good job, you got farther today. Mommy is proud." She planted a big, fat kiss on her rosy son's cheek.

"How's our little man doing?" his father asked, watching his wife and child as he entered the house. His eyes glowed with delight and warmth.

"Hisoka is progressing nicely, he got a lot farther today. He's a fast learner," his mother explained.

"Excellent, just like the son I had a vision he'd be," his father beamed. He scooped his son up over his shoulders; Hisoka squealed. "How about daddy give you a ride?"

"Yay! Ride! Ride! Ride!" Hisoka repeated. These were one of the funniest things Hisoka enjoyed doing with his father.

Walking out into the backyard his father cautioned, "hang on because here we go!"

Voices of laughter could be heard. Hisoka's mother came by the door and watched her son and husband enjoy each other's company.

--Flashback (END)--

Mother's love, Father's love . . . All gone.

It pained him so as he reveled in his past memories. His family used to be so happy, at that time Hisoka never bothered to think anything of his powers. It never hurt him until the day his mother was sad, that day made him really hurt; all over.

That day changed my life . . .

He now regretted speaking the words that he had said that day to his mother. After that, he was deemed a demon's child; not fit to be his parent's child any longer. He was placed inside the cellar, soon after, a scrawny, little kitten joined him.

Mamoru.

Hisoka stared off to the far wall where the rows of bokken were placed. His eyes flared up momentarily as he stared at them intently. The thought of beating his mother to death with it sickened him.

I don't want to be like her. Not ever . . .

Not long after his world faded to nothingness as his mind ceased to function. Sleep overrode him. Everything was silent save the soft sound of the crickets chirping outside.


	4. Chapter 3: The Others

Disclaimer: I do not and will never own YnM, all the characters are the sole property of Yoko Matsushita. I'm merely borrowing them.

I don't like this chapter too much, it's quite depressing but this has to be done to advance my story, hm? . . . I'd also just like to mention that Hisoka's sisters including Mamoru were all made up by me. They're my own original characters . . . T.T

And please do review. I'd appreciate it.

Pieces of Me

Chapter 3: The Others

By: LadyYuina

In a training session with his father Hisoka had a thought that struck at him. What happened to the others . . .? After he fired his last arrow, Hisoka said, "can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead," came the response.

This may sound too straightforward but I want to know. "What happened to the others?" Hisoka timidly watched his father shoot an arrow that landed exactly in the center. He's good.

Grunting slightly as he shafted another arrow, he asked, "what others?"

"My . . . other siblings . . . I mean, what happened to them?" I must know . . .

It seemed the question had struck one of his father's nerves as his arms fell limp to his sides, dropping the arrow and bow altogether. "You really want to know?" he asked in a cold voice that slightly scared Hisoka.

Standing his ground, Hisoka replied, "yes, I believe I have a right to know as your . . ." Son. ". . . I know you and Ms. Kurosaki have been keeping secrets from me, even she told me so." She no longer receives the title of a nurturing parent anymore; not from me.

His father's eyes widened considerably before returning to their normal sized slits. A heavy sigh escaped his lips, Hisoka could feel waves of guilt wash over him. He looked at his father expectantly; demandingly.

"Your mother drowned them," he replied in an emotionless tone.

Hisoka gasped. Murder . . . "Why?"

Guess I should tell him everything, there's no point in keeping it in the dark forever. "Her family is very traditional as of mine. Daughters aren't allowed to live until the mother gives life to their first born son. Our first was you but you are not ordinary. As your mother put it, you are a demon's child."

Hisoka started to tremble. He could hear himself repeating the same excuse he'd used before. "But I never wanted this power!"

"That's not what your mother thinks, she thinks a curse has befallen over our family with the birth of one of your sisters'. That's what she believes now."

The others . . .

"Shouldn't she be deemed the demon's child, she was the one that drowned all my sisters!" Hisoka cried out.

"That's true but it was her duty that she got rid of them . . . There is nothing more powerful than family tradition. At least that was her case, and also mine." Mr. Kurosaki walked towards the rack of bokken and sat down by the side, Hisoka followed. He still wanted to ask more questions.

"Tell me, were they given names?"

"Yes . . . all but one."

"Why wasn't one of them given a name?"

"She was like you."

Confusion got the better of Hisoka because his father saw it clearly on his face. "Like me?" Then what his father had mentioned before dawned on him . . . The so called curse. . .

"Her eyes . . . they were the color of blood, as red as the liquid at it's finest. Your mother was horrified, instinctively she drowned her as soon as she could and threw her away in the garbage.

Garbage!

Hisoka shuddered at the thought as his mother's screaming voice came to mind. She wanted to dispose of him in the garbage too. "She disgusts me, I hate her. More than I hate you."

Mr. Kurosaki feigned a look of hurt dignity; he let out a soft chuckle. "I don't blame you for the way you feel towards us. But let me tell you, I gave that child a name . . . even if your mother hadn't."

"You did?" This came as a surprise.

"I named her Musume." He said the words slowly, relishing each syllable with remembrance. A faint smile caressed his lips.

Daughter.

"You . . ." Hisoka trailed off, deciding to say something else. "What were the others named?"

"Their names were simply numbers."

Numbers? Hisoka looked at his father as if stupefied. He had never in his entire life heard of anyone label their children with numbers; it reminded him of packages, mail, stuff of that sort.

"She's heartless."

"Your mother wasn't always that way, she was once happy."

"When I was little?"

"No, before that. Our first born child made her so happy. I will never forget the expression on her face when she first glimpsed at our baby. Such radiant, pure joy."

"Was she named Ichi?"

"No, not right away at least. Her planned name was Hanako but once she realized she had to separate herself from her she decided to call her a number. That naming routine was used until you came into this world." He switched the subject back to Hanako. "Hanako was born in early spring when many flowers started to bloom."

"Tell me, was mother just as happy when I was born?"

"Oh, yes she was, she was ecstatic! You were the first child she was able to keep. We had such fun times together, I remember giving you rides on my shoulders in the backyard with you mother watching from the doorway. I still remember your first steps too when you were a baby." Such beautiful memories.

"I miss her warmth, her love," Hisoka complained. It was mostly meant for his interpretation instead of his father's. "Back then why was mother sad that day?" I have a right to know . . . Don't I?

"That is none of your concern."

Hisoka was disappointed by his father's answer. None of my concern! You are mistaken! "It was on that day when my life was completely ruined! I was only six years old!" Hisoka's anger hadn't dissipated like he'd hoped it would, it only made him vent it out further. He grabbed a bokken from the rack and tried to hit his father with it. Mr. Kurosaki merely grabbed it and yanked it away from his ill-tempered son. Hisoka fell to his knees, crying, "I deserve to know!"

"I'm sorry but I can't tell you, only your mother and I are allowed to know," Mr. Kurosaki uttered vehemently. He strode out of the dojo, leaving Hisoka behind.

Later that night Hisoka returned to the cellar feeling completely drained. Mamoru happily trotted up to his master, meowing as he did so. Hisoka placed a napkin of food before him.

"Here, enjoy; I brought a little more than usual," he muttered as he slumped down on his so-called makeshift bed. It was literally a cot accompanied by a thin red blanket that never kept Hisoka warm during the winter.

It had been three days now; he wasn't allowed to leave the house for a month as his punishment for being a minute late. Even though he didn't get to say goodbye to all of his friends he was sure that Mariko would discuss meeting up with him in the night to them eventually, even if it weren't right away.

Tonight, he had a disturbing dream.

--Dream--

A little girl was slumped over something, softly crying. Hisoka unhurriedly walked over to see what she was crying about.

"Mamoru!" he called out at the sight of him. Or what seemed to be like him.

The little girl turned around; to his surprise she strongly resembled him with bright emerald green orbs, except she had red colored hair instead of a dark sandy tone like his.

Her hair . . . is just like mother's.

"Mamoru?" she asked inquiringly. Tears still furiously rolled down her cheeks as she spoke.

Hisoka nodded his head. "Yes, that cat's name is Mamoru."

"How-how did you know?" she asked. "I never told you his name . . ." Wide green eyes narrowed slightly.

Hisoka squat down beside her and placed a gentle hand on her left shoulder. He heard himself say, "that's not important, we need to bury him."

"Okay," the little girl replied.

Surprisingly Hisoka was totally calm about this. Here was his cat before him, pronounced dead an he felt no remorse? It was rather disturbing but he didn't know what to make of it.

"Hey, mister, what is your name?" the girl asked.

"Hisoka."

"Hi-so-ka," she echoed, repeating each beat. "I'm Hanako, it's nice to meet you."

"Same here." This doesn't surprise me at all . . . why is that so? Is she the Hanako that my mother gave birth to? I needn't ask because I already know that it is her.

"Mister, you look a lot like me," she said as she studied him. Hisoka let out a soft chuckle, easy and slow. When the burial of Mamoru was complete Hanako thanked him. "Thank you for helping me bury him. Why don't you come over to my house and rest? It looks like I got all your clothes muddy, I can tell my mommy to wash them for you."

"Ah, that's not necessary."

"Oh, I insist, you've helped me out a lot. I would have had a hard time digging a hole deep enough for Mamoru to fit in by myself."

When they arrived, the house looked exactly like the one he resided in except that the roof color was red instead of brown.

"Come on in," Hanako beckoned.

Immediately a woman rushed up towards Hanako but stopped her planned assault when she saw Hisoka. "Oh? And who are you?" she asked.

"Hisoka." This feels strange . . . From behind her Hisoka could see two other girls, they both had piercing brown eyes and red colored hair.

"I'm sorry for troubling you, mommy, I wanted to bury Mamoru that's all," Hanako explained. "Hisoka helped me."

"I'm just glad that you came home safely," she replied. She eyed the sand colored haired youth momentarily. "Please make yourself at home and I do believe that you'd want a change of clothing."

"Yes, that'd be nice. Thank you, madam." This feels strange . . . I'm talking to my own mother . . . but she seems like the mother I knew so long ago . . . If only this was reality.

"Come meet my sisters!" Hisoka didn't have time to protest as the energetic child dragged him along his feet. Shyly, they each came in turn and bowed while saying their respective names.

Tami, Sachiko, and Hanako . . . so they're the others . . .? Are they, really?

"Um, don't you guys have one more sister?" Hisoka asked. The three girls stared at him in awe. Hisoka didn't know what to expect from them at this point.

"How did you know?" Tami asked. She appeared to be the youngest of the three which left Sachiko in the middle.

"Psychic?" Hisoka offered, unsure of what to tell them. In a sense I am like a psychic, right? I can feel after all . . . These are my sisters. Why am I having this dream?

"We did have another sister but she died, mommy told us that she drowned," Tami explained.

Hisoka couldn't help but roll his eyes and scoff. It didn't go unnoticed.

"Hey!" Sachiko cried. "That's nothing to be scoffing about!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. Honestly," Hisoka said, defensively raising his arms up. This dream - is it mine?

"Mommy told us that she drowned in a swimming pool. Before she could reach her mommy said she had stopped struggling; she had run out of breath.," Tami continued.

"I see."

"Stay for dinner?" Hanako suddenly asked. "After all, my mommy still needs to wash your clothes for you."

"What . . . uh." Hisoka looked down at her warily.

Tugging at his sleeve she pleaded, "please, after all you've done, please stay."

"Ah, about Mamoru, may I ask how he died?" This sounds like a reasonable question. After all, she's practically urging me to ask this . . . pleading for me to stay over for dinner.

"He got sick," Tami intervened when Hanako didn't answer.

"Oh."

"Please stay for dinner, Hisoka," Hanako suddenly repeated again.

Hisoka had no clue as to why the child was so adamant in making him remain here. He would have liked to ask but seeing the results of the first question made him shut his trap. "Um, okay." I give up. Maybe I'm just thinking too hard, there probably isn't any motive behind this child's urgency. I'm sure there isn't.

Later that night at the dinner table Hisoka could feel his mother's eyes boring into the side of his head. He was sure she'd eventually burn a hole through the side if she stared hard and long enough.

"More salad, Hisoka?" she asked.

"No, thank you. I've had my fill. Your croissants are really good, did you make them from scratch?" Hisoka asked.

"Oh, goodness no! But thank you for the compliment, I'm truly flattered." Giggles broke out among the children. It was contagious because Hisoka started to laugh with them. To him, this was how a family should be. Together as a unit, always happy and caring; he missed all this close interaction . . .

"Bye, Hisoka!" Hanako cheered when he walked out the front door fully clothed in his blue shirt and jeans again. They smelled fresh. The others waved goodbye, Hisoka did the same.

Without warning his surroundings faded to darkness. He sat upright in his bed, cold sweat covering his body. To his surprise he felt warm arms wrapped around his waist.

"Mother," he whispered. Was I sharing her dream?

He slowly slipped away from her awkward embrace and went to his usual corner. Mamoru laid curled up below the windowsill. Dawn was approaching, it was only a matter of time.


	5. Chapter 4: I Spy With My Green Eyes

Disclaimer: I do not and will never own YnM, all the characters are the sole property of Yoko Matsushita. I'm merely borrowing them.

As always please review and if you'd like to give me some input on my story then go right ahead. There is always room to improve!

Pieces of Me

Chapter 4: I Spy With My Green Eyes

By: LadyYuina

Slowly but surely the month went by and he was allowed to wander the streets again. Tonight, Hisoka decidedly brought Mamoru along.

"It's nice to get out once in a while, huh, Mamoru?"

"Meow."

"Wanna go to the park where the cherry blossom trees are? I know they're in bloom right now."

Upon reaching the park Hisoka sat down on one of the large benches. Mamoru sat down beside him. Hisoka fondly rubbed him behind the ears. Peering over at the trees overhead, he asked, "see how pretty they are? Under the moonlight it looks as if they are glowing."

The reaction Hisoka received from his sand colored cat was not what he expected. His fur stood on end and he hissed venomously.

"What's the matter?" Hisoka asked, frightful of what his cat was acting up over. Mamoru broke out into a run. "Hey - wait, Mamoru! Wait up!" Hisoka chased after him. What has gotten into him? Is there something out there that is exciting him . . .?

Under one of the cherry blossom trees stood a man, a knife held in one hand while other one clung onto a girl. Hisoka was terrified. Big, large if he was not mistaken red eyes stared back at him . . . lifeless. Red eyes? That can't be, maybe the moon is playing tricks on me. . ." He tried to cry out but nothing emitted from his throat.

"Meeeoooowwww!" Mamoru hissed.

The silver haired man cocked his head to the side to stare at the newcomer that had interrupted. A devious smile spread across his lips. Hisoka was frozen into place by fright; there was so much blood.

Mur-murder . . .

He had only broken free from his trance when Mamoru lunged at the man. One slash from his knife and Mamoru fell to the grass with a yowl.

"Mamoru, no!" Hisoka shouted.

The silver haired man spoke, his voice rich and silky in baritone. "you have witnessed something you shouldn't have."

Sweat broke out all over Hisoka's body; he immediately broke out into a run. Hisoka ran as fast as his short legs could take him to no avail. The murder as he liked to label him as magically caught up to him extremely fast. A cold hand latched onto his arm and whirled him around.

"Let go!" Hisoka shrieked, struggling with all his might.

"I'm sorry but I can't do that, not after what you just saw. Such a shame really, you're such a pretty boy," he teased, eyeing him up and down suggestively. "I shall have fun tonight."

Hisoka's eyes flashed with fear, this man's emotions were driving his poor mind insane! So much lust and evil . . . it hurt to feel his touch let alone be near him. This can't be happening to me! What did I do to deserve this!

"You're hurting me!" Hisoka gasped. The pain was overwhelming, he feared that he was going to pass out. Sadly, he did . . . The last thing he saw before closing his eyes completely was that of the girl lying on her side on the lawn, blood spilled out around her body. A gruesome indeed . . . Her clouded over gaze looked back at Hisoka, unblinking.

Hisoka woke up to the soft sound of water dripping. Opening his eyes slowly he scanned around the surrounding area. It was dark and damp, the place reeked of rotten corpses. He couldn't help but gag.

"You're awake. Good."

He turned his head to the direction of the voice. Scrambling to his feet he ran to the door and tried to turn the knob but it was locked. (A/N: At least he tried to escape! LoL) The man walked up to him, causing him to back up against the wall.

"What is your name, boy?" he asked. Hisoka stared up at him furiously, his mouth remained shut. "Speak."

Hisoka remained the way he was until the madman clasped a hand around his throat. He squeezed. Hisoka started to choke.

"H-Hisoka!" he gasped out of desperation for air. He squeezed harder. Hisoka understood what he wanted him to say. "Kuro - ughh, saki . . . Hisoka!"

"Good," he said, grinning. "I'm Muraki Kazutaka but please call me Muraki." He released his hold on Hisoka's neck which caused him to lean undeniably close towards the man to catch his breath.

Hisoka spotted a clawed hole in the man's white jacket. It automatically registered to him that Mamoru was no where to be seen or found. "Where's Mamoru?" he demanded.

"That pathetic cat of yours? Why, he's right there."

Hisoka followed the pointed finger of Muraki outstretched. There on the rack was Mamoru, he was still in his angry stance, hairs on end but his eyes were gouged out. The fur on his back was skinned completely off. Hisoka shuddered.

"What did you do to him!"

"What he obviously deserved, your imprudent cat attacked me. I just returned the favor."

"You . . . You monster!"

"Such a ugly word coming from such a pretty mouth. I may have to clean that out."

Without warning he crushed his lips against Hisoka's. He gasped which gave Muraki the opportunity to slide his tongue inside. On instinct Hisoka bit down as hard as he could. Muraki pulled away grunting in pain as his wounded tongue started to bleed.

"You've just sealed your fate with the devil, boy," he spat.

"Shut up you demon! You killed Mamoru!" Tears streamed down Hisoka's cheeks. This excited Muraki further, he loved seeing others in pain.

"You're such a feisty boy, this just makes it all the better."

Hisoka cringed and ducked under the scientist when he tried to grab him. I must dodge him at all costs! Turning around he was surprised to see Muraki looming over him. How did he get behind me so fast! He was slammed down onto the cold, hard pavement; back first. A pained cry flew from his lips, Muraki took that moment to pop a bitter tasting tablet inside his mouth. With the impact of the pavement and a sharp bump to the chest Hisoka was forced to swallow it. Instantaneously his vision started to blur and he had a hard time maintaining dominant control over his body.

Hisoka was swept away inside Muraki's mouth, he was so disorientated that he couldn't do anything about the other man's advances. Slowly, his hands slid down underneath his shirt. Hisoka could feel the action and lifted his hands up in protest but was unable to push him away. He was battling with his mind over who should control the body; it seemed like he was losing really quickly. Muraki only broke the kiss to slide Hisoka's shirt off over his head. He marveled at the sight of his skin, so flawless and beautiful.

"No," Hisoka whispered when Muraki started to unbutton his jeans.

This murder . . . he's . . .

"No? When you actually meant to say was yes, wasn't it?" Muraki implied.

"No," Hisoka whispered again. His voice was barely audible this time.

"I can't take that for an answer, you see, I always get what I want and what I want is you." With ease Muraki stripped Hisoka of his jeans and underwear. He fondly rubbed the bugle between Hisoka's legs; he stiffened. Hisoka eyed him, his bleary eyes continued to water with tears.

"Don't cry my pretty one. You're so much more prettier than her, much more." For emphasis he licked the side of Hisoka's left cheek. "Even your tears tastes sweeter, here was much too salty."

With scissor-like precision Muraki clamped down in between his legs causing Hisoka to swallow an intake of breath. "Haven't gone through puberty yet, huh?"

He expertly played with Hisoka's penis, making Hisoka feel things he had never felt before. It was not that he didn't like it; it was because he knew the person causing this was his tormentor.

Stuttering, Hisoka whimpered, "p-please stop, please s-s-stop." His cheeks were completely flushed.

"Oh? But your body is saying otherwise. Sometimes, one's body is wiser than the mind. It seems your body has won."

Hisoka knew it was true, knowing this the words stung at him even more. His body truly was refusing what his mind wanted. He wanted to shout and scream at himself but noticed that it'd out amuse Muraki and frustrate himself. Though he was drugged he wasn't thrown into utter chaos, he still had some bearings even if they were minimal.

Hisoka cried out in what he believed was pain when Muraki thrust himself inside him. He could feel heat waves of emotions cover over him, he didn't know which were his.

Pleasure? Pain? Are they mine?

Each pumping action created by the doctor caused a new sensation each time. The last one much more worse than the one before it. Hisoka opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.

"I'm flattered, you're speechless!" Muraki teased. A crazed cackle rung through the air. The sound of his voice vibrated through Hisoka's ears, the boy felt as if they were about to burst and bleed. He almost expected it but nothing happened.

Muraki let out a soft sigh when his time to release came. After detaching himself outside of Hisoka he took the same knife he used earlier and brushed it against Hisoka's milky white skin. It was cold to the touch which caused Hisoka to shiver.

"Now, to make sure you are mine for eternity I will place upon you this curse."

Hisoka's screams filled the empty voids of the room as Muraki carved intricate designs along side his body. From his chest to the side of his hips and the backside; along his arms.

"You are now mine forever, if you doubt it these markings shall prove it so. Parting is such sweet sorrow but I shall let you go . . . for now. Until we meet again."

Hisoka was washed over in white light. When he opened his eyes he was under the cherry blossom tree. The exact same one where he first saw the silver haired man. Beside him was Mamoru, his hollow eye sockets started back at him.

"Mamoru, why did we have to see that man? Look at what happened to us," Hisoka joked. A stupid joke but it was one nonetheless. For the second time that night he lost consciousness underneath the stars.

Hisoka could hear the sounds of laughing children. Peeling his eyes open he looked to the right. There were three little girls playing Frisbee; tossing the yellow disk back and forth to one another.

Where am I?

Instinctively he looked down at his body remembering what had transpired previously. To his relief he was fully clothed.

"So we meet again."

Hisoka tore his gaze from the children to see his mother standing right behind him. A smile as bright as the sun was plastered in between her cheeks.

"Hi," Hisoka answered, stupidly. He didn't know what to do; he hadn't spoken to his mother this way for such a long time.

"Hello," she replied. "Care to join us?" She gestured towards the picnic they had set up under the exact same cherry blossom tree. It made him feel a bit uneasy.

"Hey, guys look! It's Hisoka!" Hanako shouted. She eagerly ran over to him. "Hi!"

"Hi, Hisoka!" The other two chimed.

Hisoka simply smiled and waved. A lone cherry blossom petal lightly landed on his shoulder.

"Oh! A petal has fallen on your shoulder, Hisoka," Sachiko noted.

Nonchalantly he brushed it off, not really bothering to notice it as anything of importance. It slowly sailed to the grass ridden floor, the one spot where Mamoru would have laid.

"Come have some watermelon with us?" Hanako asked. "It cold and good!"

Hisoka laughed. "Sure."

"They're seedless and those are my favorite kind," Sachiko added.

"Mine too! Mine too!" Hanako said.

Out of the corner of his eye Hisoka swore he saw long waves of sand colored hair behind a cherry tree. When he turned his gaze over there he spotted a girl. She was skinny and tall with eyes as red as a shimmering ruby placed out before the sun.

Her eyes . . . can it be . . .?

"Hey, who's that girl over there?" Hisoka asked, pointing to the cherry tree.

"What girl?" Tami asked. "I don't see anyone."

Surely enough when Hisoka glanced over again she was gone. "I swore I saw a girl."

"You're just seeing things," his mother told him. "Come on, let's eat."

"Let's eat!" the three girls chorused.

When he glanced over at the cherry blossom tree again he saw Muraki Kazutaka . . .


	6. Chapter 5: Never Gone

Disclaimer: I do not and will never own YnM, all the characters are the sole property of Yoko Matsushita. I'm merely borrowing them.

Used the Backstreet Boys's song, "Never Gone". I thought it portrayed the relationship between Mamoru and the poor, tormented boy perfectly. Last chapter for Hisoka. Tsuzuki's turn is up next.

Pieces of Me

Chapter 5: Never Gone

By: LadyYuina

"Hisoka. Hisoka wake up."

"Ugggnnnhhh, where am I?" Hisoka asked, groggily. His whole body ached and his cuts were stinging. Hisoka looked down when he felt something warm and heavy stir by his side; his mother's hand was clasped in his.

It was her dream . . .

"Are you badly hurt?" Hisoka's father asked. "Your mother was really worried."

Hisoka snorted. "I find that hard to believe." But . . . she is holding my hand. Hisoka quickly withdrew his hand underneath the blanket and away from his mother's somewhat affectionate hold.

"Your mother does have a heart you know," his father stated.

"So?" I'm sick of this crap . . . always hearing the same thing.

"You're becoming really bitter."

"You two made me this way," Hisoka spat.

His father sighed and asked, "does your wounds hurt? I bandaged you up and put ointments on the wounds. What happened to you? Where did you get all those strange cuts?"

"That's none of your concern," he mimicked, remembering the day his father used this exact same phrase on him. Hisoka smiled.

"It is my concern and I'm your father. Don't you dare talk to me that way!" he warned.

"I can speak to you whichever way I like. You're not my father . . . my real father isn't like you or her." He dejectedly point a finger at his mother.

"Hisoka, why are you being so difficult?' Mr. Kurosaki asked. "Just tell me what happened and we can resolve the issue."

Ignoring his father's requests he looked around the room. "Where's Mamoru?"

"He's still at the park, I would never bother to pick up that filthy thing."

"Mamoru is not filthy! He . . ." Hisoka trailed off. What he wanted to say never occurred. Mamoru never protected me . . . did he? "I'm going to get him!"

As he tried to get up he fell back down, pain seared through his body at every movement. Hisoka winced in pain.

"Don't strain yourself," his father warned.

"H-Hisoka?" he heard his mother drowsily say.

"What?" Hisoka smugly asked, as he scooted away from her.

"You're awake . . . are you okay?"

Hisoka rolled his eyes, he was hearing the same repetitive things and he was getting tired of it. Why should I listen to them? They're probably deceiving me somehow . . . "Why do you act as if you care for me now? Why is it, huh?"

Anger was surging through his mother and he could feel it. The pain in his head increased as her rage fused with his own.

"Why I never . . . If you wanted to be treated lowly in a poor state like this then so be it," she coldly replied. "Come on, Masahiko, let's leave this pathetic excuse of a son here to brood."

When they left the cellar Hisoka started to cry. For once in a long time they were actually worried about him but he pushed them away. I'm such an idiot. Events of last night only increased the self-pity he was feeling and the loss of Mamoru.

Mamoru, wait for me. I'll be coming for you soon.

_I really miss you  
There's something I gotta say . . ._

"Mamoru, we were such good buddies, we're so alike in many ways. You've really led me to a pathway full of light. Without you, I would've entered the darkness a long time ago."

_The things we did, the things we said  
Keep coming back to me and make me smile again  
You showed me how to face the truth  
Everything that's good in me I owe to you . . ._

Despite his injuries Hisoka managed to creep out of his cot. He silently slipped into the kitchen, scanning around for his parents. When the coast was clear he made his way to the front door to the outside world.

I'm definitely coming to get you . . .

_Though the distance that's between us  
Now may seem to be too far  
It will never separate us  
Deep inside I know you are . . ._

Like in his mother's dream Mamoru was lying on the spot where the cherry blossom he flicked off fell to. It just registered in his mind that perhaps that one cherry blossom petal was a sign to tell him in his mother's dream that Mamoru was gone. Flies were already swarming around the cat's body, Hisoka sadly stared down at him as tears trickled down his pale cheeks.

Looking around the area Hisoka found a suitable spot to bury his companion. It was pretty secluded. Without the help of a shovel Hisoka used his bare hands and tore at the grass.

_Never gone, never far  
In my heart is where you are  
Always close, everyday  
Every step along the way  
Even though for now we have to say goodbye  
I know you will forever be in my life  
Never gone . . ._

Painstakingly he dug a small hole, it wasn't big enough to place Mamoru in but he needed a break. Heh, this reminds me of her dream . . . Hanako and Mamoru . . . Hisoka's limbs were throbbing with pain; he knew he was pushing himself too hard. Children and adults alike that passed by merely stared at him, no one seemed to care for the demon's child.

A soft breeze blew by, Hisoka willingly accepted it's cool embrace against his hot skin. Cherry petals fell and littered the grass around him. He looked over his shoulder and picked one up that had landed there. The exact same shoulder that the petal had landed in the dream. The left one . . .

By nightfall, Hisoka had finally dug a hole that was large enough for Mamoru. He carried him over and placed the sand colored cat into it. A small prayer was uttered, the finishing line, "may you rest in peace."

_I walk alone these empty streets  
There is not a second that you're not here with me  
The love you gave, the grace you've shone  
Will always give me strength and be my cornerstone_

He aimlessly wandered the streets, all tattered and dirty. Everyone stared at him as he limped his way around town. It seemed funny to him that no one dared to approach him, after all . . . he was just a thirteen-year-old boy. His birthday had just passed recently but who'd care anyway. But then again he wasn't normal. Hisoka's head throbbed with pain with all the emotions he was receiving, the worst one of all was pity. Whispers were heard among the people loitering the bust streets and sidewalks.

"Look at that boy, what is he doing?"

"He looks awful."

"Look at that boy, mommy!"

Hush dear, he might hear you!"

Maybe I should just die. It is why I went into town? To feel even more pain? It hurts a lot . . . Hisoka came to an abrupt stop when he spotted a sand colored haired cat to his side. It stared back at him with golden yellow eyes.

"Mamoru?" he whispered. Hisoka swayed unsteadily, it wasn't until he collapsed did the arrogant people of this cozy town come to his aid.

"Somebody call the ambulance!"

"On my! What happened?"

"He just collapsed . . ."

"The ambulance said they'll be here right away!"

"Mommy, look at his back."

"Hush dear, turn away. You don't need to see that."

Hisoka's shirt was unceremoniously lifted up when he fell on the pavement. Part of his cursed markings was shone to the world.

_Somehow you found a way  
To see the best I have in me  
As long as time goes on  
I swear to you that you will be . . ._

Lights, they're so bright. It hurts . . .

On instinct Hisoka tried to shield his eyes with his hand but a nurse grabbed his arm and pushed it back down to his side.

"He's coming to!" he heard a woman's voice say.

"His blood pressure is still stable. Get more bandages, his wounds haven't stopped bleeding yet," said another.

"He needs to get cleaned up first, he's awfully dirty. Just look at him."

"Now's not the time for that, Dr. Ishikawa, are you that dense?" came a reprimand, it was the same woman's voice from before.

"Nurse Areba, please go to the cabinet and get more bandages and some towels!" Dr. Ishikawa ordered, getting back to full blown serious mode.

"On it!" she replied.

Hisoka was drifting in and out of consciousness, he had no clue what was going on except for the fact that his curse markings stung. The pain was overpowering.

By the time they managed to stop the bleeding Hisoka had lost a large amount of blood. A tube was stuck on his arm and blood was transferred in through it. When he fully came to a nurse in a pink uniform peered over him.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

Hisoka stared at her nametag. Ochira Mizumi. "Mizumi?" he muttered, it was loud enough for her to hear.

"Yes, that is my name," she responded. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling fine," Hisoka answered.

Nurse Mizumi let out a sad chuckle. "Are you sure? You don't look so good to me."

Something dabbed at Hisoka's cheek, he turned his head away. "Cold," he whispered. Instantly the cold object which felt like a damp towel was removed.

"I'm sorry," Nurse Mizumi apologized. She stared at the boy with pity. "But I need to clean you up a little, there's dirt all over your body."

Dirt . . . Mamoru. Yes, Mamoru!

_Never gone, never far  
In my heart is where you are  
Always close, everyday  
Every step along the way  
Even though for now we have to say goodbye  
I know you will forever be in my life . . ._

"Mamoru!" Hisoka suddenly called out.

Perplexed, the nurse asked, "Mamoru?"

"My cat."

"Ah, how is he doing?" she asked.

"He's dead." Hisoka's eyes filled up with liquid but he refused to let them fall. Nurse Mizumi stared down at him, silence filled the entire room.

"Ahem, I'm sorry . . ."

Hisoka turned his head away. The expression the nurse had on her face unnerved him. But his head snapped back in her direction when there was a sharp knocking sound coming from the door.

"Come in," Mizumi called.

_Never gone from me  
If there's one thing I believe  
I will see you somewhere down this road again . . ._

"Right this way," Dr. Ishikawa ushered. To Hisoka's surprise his mother and father had come to see him. The doctor and the nurse promptly left the room, leaving the family to have time to themselves.

"Hisoka!" His mother cried, coming to his bedside. He cringed from her touch. "Look at you, you look awful!" Upon contact, Hisoka could feel her emotions of annoyance. This put a scowl to his pallid features.

"What are you scowling about?" Mr. Kurosaki asked.

"Why did you two come?" Hisoka asked. "I didn't expect this at all."

"We-"

Mrs. Kurosaki cut him off. "We came because the hospital called is and it'd seem strange if we didn't act concerned."

"So you're saying you're not worried?" Hisoka asked.

"Of course not, you don't deserve my love," she replied. Her brows creased further whe she glared harder at her son.

"Go away then," Hisoka said in a cold voice; devoid of emotion.

"Hisoka . . ." his father started.

"Be quiet, Masahiko!" Mrs. Kurosaki snapped. "Come, let's go." They left the room.

_Never gone, never far  
In my heart is where you are  
Always close, everyday  
Every step along the way  
Even though for now we have to say goodbye  
I know you will forever be in my life_

Hisoka sighed, his life was becoming hectic. At the moment he felt as if he hated everything in the world, it was against him. He stared down at his soiled hands; underneath his nails were dirt. He started to sob uncontrollably as he thought of Mamoru buried underneath the earth.

From that day forth, his parents never visited again; neither had any of his friends showed up to see him once. Ironically, the lies that his mother had made up seemed to be true now, he really did have an incurable disease as the doctors liked to put it. Hatred for Muraki steadily grew as the years went on. On the third year of his stay in the hospital Hisoka finally passed away . . .

_Never gone, never far  
In my heart is where you are_


	7. Chapter 6: Call Me Tsuzuki

Disclaimer: I do not and will never own YnM, all the characters are the sole property of Yoko Matsushita. I'm merely borrowing them.

Tsuzuki's turn is finally here! I found that his side of the story was a lot harder to write than Hisoka's. Anyways, I always wondered why Tsuzuki was called Tsuzuki and not Asato so this chapter is based on that . . . As always please review!

Pieces of Me

Chapter 6: Call Me Tsuzuki

By: LadyYuina

A boy breathed in heavily as he struggled to keep running.

"That's right, run on home!" shouted a boy as he threw a rock at the boy ahead of him. It hit him squarely in the back of the head.

"You freak! You don't belong in our school!"

"Never come back, okay!"

The brunette haired boy clamped his hands to either side of his ears and tried to block out the shouts by his fellow classmates. They stopped chasing him when he neared his home; to others they thought it was unholy ground. Unsafe to tread in fear that they were to be killed somehow . . .

"Oh Asato, you're home," his sister said. She frowned when she saw the haggard appearance of her younger brother. "What's the matter?"

"Don't call me that, Ruka. I hate that," the boy argued. "Everyone at school thinks it's evil."

"Nonsense!" Ruka replied. "Asato is a beautiful name," coming towards her brother she added, "I think it's prettier than mine."

Asato blushed but it was not from embarrassment, it was out of anger. "I hate the name Asato, just call me Tsuzuki, okay?"

"But . . ."

"Ruka, please." He wearily sat down in one of the worn down chairs in the kitchen.

Changing the subject, she cheerfully asked, "how was your day at school?"

"Horrible." Does she really need to ask me this? Can't she tell that I'm as miserable as one can be!

"There must have been something fun you did today," Ruka reasoned. Moving over to the oven she pulled out a apple pie she was baking. "Want some?"

Momentarily forgetting about the previous harassment that assaulted him, he chirped, "yes please!"

His sister giggled. "You can never pass up sweets can you, huh?"

"I love apple pie, you make the best ones! Why do you think they always sell?" Tsuzuki beamed. He eagerly took out plates from the low shelf that they had alongside with forks and napkins. Once seated and eating, Tsuzuki asked, "tell me, what was mom like?"

Chuckling, Ruka said, "I've told you many times."

"I'm never tired of hearing it!"

"Okay, well, she was beautiful that was for sure. She had long brown hair and the most gorgeous eyes. That's what caught our father's gaze, she always told me how he loved her eyes. She said he said they reminded him of the sea whenever he looked into them."

"Ruka . . ."

"Hm?" She daintily took a bite of her apple pie before looking at her brother.

"Who am I?"

"Ah . . . Tsuzuki! What are you saying? You are who you are, you're Tsuzuki Asato."

"I've given it a lot of thought. I really want to know who I am. Is Tsuzuki Asato even my real name?" His eyes took on a deep amethyst color that blended well with his dark brunette hair. His sister was at a loss for words. Finishing the last portion of his apple pie he rose slowly from his seat to walk to the sink and place his fork and plate down.

"I'm sorry, Asato-"

"It's Tsuzuki!" he snapped.

"-Tsuzuki, but your name is as it stands. You shouldn't question it."

Tsuzuki was on the verge of crying; he could still hear his classmates shouting insults at him inside his mind. "You know why I'm questioning my identity. You know, Ruka."

"That-"

"It has everything to do with it . . . my eyes. They're not normal. You, mother and father all have beautiful blue and brown eyes but mine are violet."

"Tsuzuki . . . now that you're old enough to understand I think your eye color is a birth defect."

"No it's not!" There is no way that can be true . . .

Ruka cringed at those three spoken words, she hated seeing her brother being so pessimistic. "The doctors didn't really have an explanation for it."

Footsteps were heard as the front door opened and closed. Tsuzuki's father walked into the kitchen looking extremely tired.

"Welcome home, father!" Ruka faked a smile; it was somewhat pained but she managed to pull it off. "Care to have some apple pie?"

"No, I just want to go to sleep. Work was tiring today; had to haul a heavier load than usual," he explained.

"I see. Want a bath before you go to sleep then?"

"That'd be nice."

Tsuzuki noted that his voice sounded strained but he said nothing of it. "Hey dad," Tsuzuki greeted.

"Hey son, how was your day?"

"Fine," Tsuzuki lied. His sister eyed him for a moment and smiled. Tsuzuki knew better than to put more worries on his father since he had enough to worry about. "But can I stay home tomorrow? I don't feel so well." Ruka threw him a glare which he gladly ignored.

"Hmmm, your forehead doesn't feel warm," his father noted, as he placed a calloused hand there.

"I just feel nauseous that's all. I don't want to throw up in school."

"Don't worry about it Asato, you'll feel better tomorrow."

"Dad . . . can you call me Tsuzuki instead?" How will he accept this?

"But that's our last name, you don't want to be known by our family name."

Maybe I shouldn't word it this way but . . . "I hate the name Asato, it's tainted." . . . I feel this is the only way I know how to express it . . .

A sigh escaped from his father's lips and Tsuzuki flapped a hand over his mouth. He had gone too far, now his father knew how his day actually went. "Kids pestering you again?" he asked.

"No." I must become a good liar!

"You don't need to lie to me, you're not a good liar you know?"

"Ruka always says that too . . ." Tsuzuki added. "I'm not a bad liar, I'm sure of it!"

A deep chuckle emerged from his father. "You're just like your mother; she was the same way."

"Father! Your bath is ready!" Ruka called.

"Be there in a minute!"

As his father started to walk towards the bath, Tsuzuki reminded him, "call me Tsuzuki . . ."

"Haha, sure thing Asato."

"Tsuzuki! I said Tsuzuki!"

The next day at school Tsuzuki was cornered at recess.

"Hand over your lunch money and we won't hurt you," a boy warned.

"I don't have any money."

"Don't lie to us, you freak. You obviously have money now had it over!" another hissed.

"I already-"

"Children!" They all turned around to see their teacher, Miss Misagi.

"Teacher!" they cried. "Asato tried to sell something to us! It looked like some sort of white powder!"

"Run along now, I'll deal with this," she told them.

"You're so in trouble, Asato!" they hollered at the brunette haired boy.

Miss Misagi made her way towards Tsuzuki. He gentle eyes serenely roved over him. "Are you all right?" Tsuzuki nodded. "Good." She turned her head to the direction of the boys who were watching and then back. "I'm sorry the students here are giving you a hard time."

"It's something that I'm used to. People have mistreated me all my life," he admitted. It's not far . . . why does it have to be this way? Why can't I lead a normal life like the other kids?

"Asato, you shouldn't let others bully you. You are a victim to no one."

"Miss Misagi, please call me Tsuzuki instead. I know it sounds strange but I don't like my given name."

"Oh Asato, you shouldn't hate your first name. You should cherish it, it defines you."

"But the others told me it is tainted because it was given to a freak. Funaki Asato thinks so too. He doesn't like being called Asato anymore; everyone calls him Funaki." A tear trickled down his left cheek.

"You're not a freak and yes, I've noticed the sudden change by your fellow classmates calling him that but I still call him Asato. He hasn't asked me to call him Funaki."

"If you called me Tsuzuki you can tell us apart more easily. It's not like I'm not already different though."

Placing a caressing touch to his left cheek, she said, "Asato, we are all different, no two people are exactly the same, not even twins."

"I'm . . ." Tears were freely flowing down his cheeks now. "I'm not human, am I?"

"Shhhh, of course you are," Miss Misagi cooed. "You have eyes, ears, a nose, an mouth just like anyone else."

Tearing his gaze from her gentle eyes he stared at the boys far off in the distance. Realizing that he was staring at them they threw him dirty looks and mouthed the word freak over and over . . .

"I just want to disappear; just go away. Then no one will have to make fun of me anymore," Tsuzuki whispered. "No one will have to see my eyes again."

"Is this about your eyes?" she asked, sounding really surprised. Tsuzuki nodded his head in agreement. "Don't worry about your eyes, we're all unique in some way."

"My eyes are not unique, they're not normal. Nobody can have purple eyes, that's unheard of."

"They are too, Asa- I mean Tsuzuki."

"Miss Misagi?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you." he bolted off into a run and ran out of the schoolyard. She watched him go. At least she understands me . . .

"Freak!" a kid called after his retreating form.

"Masato!" Miss Misagi reprimanded. "My office now! Kishin, Ryo, Hironobu, you three too!" She briefly looked out at the exit way Tsuzuki had taken before walking towards her office . . . Somehow, she knew Tsuzuki would manage through all this. She knew he was strong, far stronger than she could ever imagine.


	8. Chapter 7: Sun Dance

Disclaimer: I do not and will never own YnM, all the characters are the sole property of Yoko Matsushita. I'm merely borrowing them.

This feels like a filler chapter to me . . . I'll say this again . . . Tsuzuki's side of the story is really tough to write about! . . . XD

Pieces of Me

Chapter 7: Sun Dance

By: LadyYuina

"Gather round children, let's make preparations," Miss Misagi announced to the class. Cheers were heard among the students. Tsuzuki stared out the window as he sat at his desk.

"Tsuzuki," she called.

Standing up before his desk, he asked, "yes?"

"Do you have any suggestions for the upcoming Sun Dance Festival?"

"No." He calmly took his seat and ignored the snickers he heard around him.

"Miss Misagi, I have a suggestion. How about we put Tsuzuki in the Sun Dance play?" a student asked.

"Excellent idea, Minoru. How about it, Tsuzuki?"

"I don't want to." What's the point to this dumb play anyway? I'm sure the others are making me participate so they can make fun of me . . .

"Come on Asato, this is a school effort thing and I believe our class should contribute as much as we can," a girl named Mayu said. "I'll be in the play with you if you want."

"So they can make fools out of themselves," someone snidely commented.

"Kotoko, go stand outside. That was uncalled for," Miss Misagi reprimanded. "Apologize."

Getting up from her seat the girl known as Kotoko said she was sorry before she left the classroom. For the rest of the day, ideas were tossed around the classroom for the festival. Tsuzuki merely fazed in and out of it all.

"I'm home," he called out. No answer. "Ruka?" He found it rather odd since everyday his sister was always home to greet him.

"Boo!"

"Aaauuuhhh!"

"Hahahaha, I got you Tsuzuki, that was fun. I haven't done that for so long!" she said, bubbling with laughter.

"You scared me half to death, that is not funny!" Tsuzuki heatedly replied.

Swinging an arm around her brother's shoulder, she said happily, "lighten up, it's a beautiful day. Enjoy the sunshine and by the way, I heard about the Sun Dance Festival. Sounds like fun!"

"It's not going to be." Will I receive the worst brunt of it all?

"Oh? Why not?"

"I just know it, nothing fin ever goes right for me."

"Come on, give it a chance. There's always something to enjoy in life. Let me teach you how to dance!"

Startled violet eyes stared into navy blue ones. "You know how to dance?" How come I don't remember this about her . . .?

"Of course! I used to dance all the time when I was younger! Come on, I'll show you!"

"Hey . . . Hey, wait a minute!" Tsuzuki was yanked forward and held in an embrace. Before he knew it he was moving to the rhythm of his sister's swaying hips; he was actually enjoying himself! His sister always managed to make him have fun, one way or another.

"Fun?" she huffed.

"Yeah. Show me some more later?" he asked.

"Certainly, anything for my little bro, you sure can work on your cooking skills though, eh?"

Tsuzuki blushed a deep crimson color. "I can really use some improvement on that. Now that I think about it - I can't even boil water . . ."

His sister burst out laughing, it was contagious despite the fact that she was laughing at him. That afternoon was one of the best afternoons of his life with more to come along the way. He was sure of it. No matter how scattered they may be . . .

Peaking around the corner of the school Tsuzuki made sure there was no one around before he sneaked by his classroom.

"Good morning, Asato!"

"Wha-" he whirled around to see Mayu. Where did she suddenly from? I didn't see her anywhere when I scanned the place.

"What are you doing?" she asked. Her eyes took on a certain glow to them. Tsuzuki backed away nervously. "You okay?"

"Me? I'm fine." What does she want from me? If it's money . . . I have nothing to offer.

Mayu cocked slightly to the side curiously when she saw that the boy before her was in deep thought. "What are you thinking about?" Tsuzuki stared down at his shoes. It was as if they were the most fascinating things he had ever seen. "Asato?"

"Um . . . hmmm . . ."

She looked at him closely, their noses were almost touching. A blush crawled up Tsuzuki's cheeks from the ardent closeness of their faces.

I'll tell her straight-out. "Can you call me Tsuzuki instead . . .?" No, that doesn't sound right . . . "If you want lunch money; I don't have any, Mayu." Tsuzuki spoke the words so fast that the poor girl almost didn't make out what he had just said.

"Tsuzuki? Why? That's your last name," she stated. "Asato sounds better. And about the lunch money - I wasn't going to ask you for any. I have my own thank you very much." A smile lit across her features in a playful way.

"I know Tsuzuki is my last name . . . but I think it sounds better than Asato . . ."

"Is it because of your eyes?" she whispered. Damn, she sees right through me, am I that obvious? Better keep myself in better check from here on. Tsuzuki nodded. "Don't worry about it, I think your eyes are just fine."

"Not everyone thinks so."

"Forget what everyone thinks, they just don't know any better. But if you really want me to call you Tsuzuki then I will. How about we become friends? I always see you by yourself at lunch; I don't think anyone deserves to be alone unless they're really mean to others."

Tsuzuki blinked several times, surprised by his classmates willingness to be nice to him let alone be friends. He smiled gratefully. "Thanks, this really means a lot to me."

"No problem. Now let's get into class before the bell rings."

"For the Sun Dance Festival here are the roles of the characters. Tsuzuki is Prince Toshi, Mayu is the peasant girl Reina, and Masato is the horse boy . . ."

The monotone sound of Miss Misagi's voice droned into Tsuzuki's ear. He found it difficult to pay attention. Visions of yesterday's lesson in dancing kept repeating itself in his head.

" . . . Minoru is lastly but not least the villain who tries to ruin Prince Toshi's relationship with Reina. He will be the magi. Everyone got their roles written down?"

A chorus of, "yes teacher," was heard.

"Tsuzuki," Mayu whispered.. "Write down your character role before Miss Misagi walks to your desk."

"Oh!" He immediately scribbled down whatever came to mind; a donkey.

When she came to his desk she quirked an eyebrow at him. "A donkey, Tsuzuki?" Roars of laughter ripped across the classroom. "You're Prince Toshi, correct it and I'll give you your script."

"Yes, sorry Miss Misagi," Tsuzuki squeaked, as he quickly erased the work donkey and replaced it with the words Prince Toshi. His script was then handed to him.

"Okay! We shall commence practicing of the main lead roles for now! Tsuzuki and Mayu, you two are up first!"

Tsuzuki stared down at the written work before him, it had a lot of corny lines strewn across it. Hmph, this shall prove to be interesting . . . Later that day a very tired Tsuzuki returned home from school.

"I'm home."

"Welcome back, how'd school go today?" Ruka asked. This was her normal routine phrase on a normal day.

"Pretty much just rehearsed for the play; I'm tired. Gonna go to sleep . . ."

"Just like father," Ruka muttered but it was loud enough for Tsuzuki to hear.

"I heard that," he shot back.

"Hehe, just telling the truth as it is. By the way, when is the festival being held?"

"This Friday."

"Okay, I'll make sure father and I can attend. What time?"

"Seven pm."

"Hmmm, tight schedule but I should be able to tweak things here and there."

"Don't even bother if you're going to be that busy," Tsuzuki protested.

"I really do want to go and I'm sure father does too."

"Well . . . I'm going to sleep, I'll see you later." A big yawn escaped from his mouth, his eye lids were becoming heavier by the minute. He was a lot more tired than he had anticipated he'd be . . .

When Tsuzuki was called down for dinner it was barely dark outside. Seated at the table was his sister, father and himself. Tsuzuki stared over at the only empty seat that was meant for his mother.

"Eat your veggies," his father instructed.

"Huh?" Violet eyes met chocolate brown ones.

"Your mother used to always say that to Ruka when she was younger," he explained.

"I hated eating vegetables at the time but now I that I think back I'm glad that she made me eat them. I've grown to like 'em now," Ruka said thoughtfully. "You're lucky Tsuzuki, that vegetables are just a natural thing for you."

Scrunching up his face, Tsuzuki cried, "no way! I don't like them at all!"

"You're the sweets king, eh?" his father teased. "If you eat all your vegetables I promise to take you out for dessert."

"Really?" Tsuzuki's face lit up with glee.

"Yeah, but eat your veggies first!" Just to spite his father and sister his plate was cleared off in a minute.

"Oh my. Look at what the mention of sweets does to Tsuzuki," Ruka whispered to their father. He merely laughed.

"Hurry, children, get in your positions. The curtains are going to be raised any second!" Miss Misagi herded the children to their spots. Everyone wait when they were ready for the curtains to raise.

Tsuzuki stared out at the crowd to see his sister and father sitting in the middle row on the left. Ruka waved to him and smiled. The narrator started to speak who was picked as Hironobu.

"_Prince Toshio was in a distraught state. The peasant girl Reina was no where to be found."_

"Where can she be?" Tsuzuki said, as he feigned a look of worried fretfulness. In actuality he was annoyed and a little embarrassed.

"Prince Toshi." The horse boy came forward on stage and bowed. "I believe I know where thy love is."

"Where? Show me to her now!" Tsuzuki and Masato ran off the stage. Purposely, Masato tripped him; Tsuzuki unceremoniously fell to the floor. His crown flew off the top of his head.

"Oops," Masato said, as he snidely looked at him. Tsuzuki shot him a glare and slowly got to his feet while retrieving his crown.

Mayu appeared onto the stage, she pretended to softly cry. The magi towered before her.

"As you can see Reina, a peasant girl and a prince can never be together. You will only bring him unhappiness in the end."

"That's not true! Toshi said he loved me!" she defended. "I know he does."

A mad howling laugh was heard from the magi. "You make ye laugh, peasant girl."

Tsuzuki and the horse boy rushed onto the scene. "Let Reina go!" Tsuzuki bellowed.

"Toshi, you came for me!" Mayu gasped.

The rest of the play ensued with fighting and tons of sappy moments. The crowd cheered when it was over, all the students in the play rushed on stage and bowed.

Backstage Miss Misagi beamed at them. "Great job everyone, now let's go have some fun ourselves!"

"Come on Tsuzuki, let's go do the Sun Dance," Mayu whispered into his ear.

"Are you sure? With . . . me?" he asked.

"Of course!"

Ruka and Tsuzuki's father came up to them.

"Tsuzuki, you were awesome. You played the part of Prince Toshi splendidly," Ruka complimented.

"Well done, son," his father chided, patting his son on his shoulder gently.

"Thanks." A blush crawled up his cheeks. Mayu idly stood to the side, watching until Tsuzuki realized she was still here with him. "Oh! This is Mayu Kagatana." He gestured towards her and she bowed politely.

"It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Ruka and he's Tsuzuki's father," Ruka greeted. Mr. Tsuzuki bowed in turn and smiled. "You're going to the Sun Dance, Tsuzuki?"

"Uh . . ."

"Yeah, Tsuzuki and I are going to do the Sun Dance together," Mayu inferred.

"Mind if we join?" Ruka gave Tsuzuki a knowing wink a he threw her an exasperated glare.

"Sure," Mayu replied.

"Let's head on over then," Mr. Tsuzuki interrupted.

Out on the dance floor the lights were ablaze. People were dancing. Up on the stage was their classmate Arisa, singing the traditional Sun Dance song.

"They all look so cute!" Ruka squealed. "Come on father, I'd rather dance than stand around and watch!" Tsuzuki and Mayu exchanged glances briefly before trailing behind Ruka and his their father.

The reason it was called the Sun Dance was because everyone danced in a circular motion. Most of them were dressed in bright yellow and orange, their movements were like the flames of the sun. And thus, this was the Sun Dance.


	9. Chapter 8: Time Flies By

Disclaimer: I do not and will never own YnM, all the characters are the sole property of Yoko Matsushita. I'm merely borrowing them.

I've finally gotten this typed out at last! Sorry about the wait - I kept rewriting this chapter . . . I couldn't quite capture it the way I wanted it to be like but I guess this is my final version of it. This takes place many years later . . . Hope you all enjoy! Please do leave a review - perhaps you can tell me what you think or on what I should have done differently . . .? Thank you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Pieces of Me

Chapter 8: Time Flies By

By: LadyYuina

"I can't believe you're twenty-six now, time sure flies by fast, huh, Tsuzuki?" Ruka asked.

"Yeah, that was one of the best birthday parties I have ever had."

"Let me guess, you enjoyed my cake the most out of anything?" Ruka asked innocently. She flexed her fingers and waited for her younger brother to answer.

"Haha, yeah. But the party itself was nice. Your friends were really kind to me, and one of them showed me how to boil water!"

"You just learned how to do that? I thought I taught you that years ago?"

Tsuzuki shrugged his shoulders. "Guess I forgot how."

"You're hopeless," she teased.

"I know."

They both burst out laughing at the moment their father walked in on them. "What's so funny?" he asked.

"Tsuzuki's cooking skills," Ruka automatically said.

"Oh, hahaha, gotten better son?"

"Maybe . . ." Tsuzuki muttered, not really wanting his father to know the exact truth.

"Keep working on it, I know you can get better," he reassured him. He disappeared around the corner when he walked out into the yard.

Sniffing the air, Ruka asked, "is something burning?"

Realization dawned on Tsuzuki, he was baking a cake! "Oh crap, I forgot about the cake that was baking!"

They rushed into the kitchen and sure enough, the oven was producing a lot of smoke. Coughing and turning off the machine, Tsuzuki pulled down on the handle. Ruka placed a hand mitten on before pulling out the smoking object.

"It's burnt," Tsuzuki whined.

"Looks more like charcoal than a cake," Ruka stated. "Why didn't you-"

"Fire! Is there a fire?" Their father burst onto the scene. To his relief it was just a burnt cake and two distraught people.

"We're fine father, don't strain yourself," Ruka said. Her brows creased in worried tension. "The doctor did order you to take it easy."

"I'm trying, honey," he replied.

Tsuzuki watched the exchanged words they shared. He knew the cause was because of him, he had been a difficult child to handle and still was . . . "It's all my fault." Ruka and his father both turned to him. Tsuzuki met their gazes, his eyes heavy with guilt.

"You're not to blame, son. I have this condition because of my job," he explained.

That didn't make Tsuzuki feel any better. "I'm sure I'm a part of it and don't go on rambling that I'm not."

"But-" Ruka started. She faltered at Tsuzuki's accusations. The cake and mitts she had were forgotten about when she placed them down by the sink.

"No more 'buts', there isn't always a way out of things and don't try to distort things from their true meaning." Tsuzuki clenched and unclenched his fists together. "All my life I've been a troubled child . . . always the one to be picked on because of my eyes. The one and only friend I ever had was Mayu but she moved away a while ago . . . the day she left something inside of me died down; flickered out. It had hurt so much, you know? I was in deep pain but I didn't show it, I wanted to be strong."

"Tsuzuki, I never knew," Ruka whispered. "You've become so good at lying . . ."

"I had to!" he snapped, rage was building up inside him as he thought of the past. Time sure went by fast. "Lying was an advantage I used to protect myself. Doing it so much in school and around other people has made it easy for me. But now I'm confessing it to the both of you . . ."

Mr. Tsuzuki nodded sagely, his brown eyes looked extremely tired. "Just let it all out, you'll feel much better."

"I can say the same thing for you. Tell me, dad, how did you really get the illness you have now?" Tsuzuki asked, almost viciously.

His father stared up at the ceiling momentarily before looking back at his son. "Yes, it's true, you had something to do with it but I wasn't lying when it had to do with my job either. I was constantly worried when you would come home crying or had a really large bruise somewhere over your body. Ruka has gone through the same ordeal as I but she is far more stronger and younger than me."

"Perhaps you should retire from working," Ruka suggested. "Tsuzuki and I can get better jobs so we can support the family."

Mr. Tsuzuki shook his head, a wan smile plastered on his thin lips. "No. Though my job is tough, I love it. And the people I work with, I can't just leave them behind. You see, building homes is my dream. Now that I have reached it, I won't let it go, not until my last breath is taken from me." A soft cough escaped from his lips which son turned into wheezing fits.

Ruka knelt down beside him and called out, "Tsuzuki, go get him some water."

Tsuzuki's hands were trembling as he handed the water over to his sister. "Is he going to be all right?"

"I'm not sure, perhaps we should take him to the hospital."

"I'll drive." They piled up in the old station wagon and drove down to the Muraki Inc. Hospital. Tsuzuki was so anxious to get there that he almost ran into a street pole but thanks to Ruka's swerve of the wheel they missed it by an inch.

"Watch how you're driving!" a man shouted from the side of the street. "Stupid moron!"

"I'll take over." Ruka and Tsuzuki traded spots. In the backseat their father breathed in and out heavily.

"Please hang in there, dad," Tsuzuki said encouragingly.

Upon their arrival at the hospital Mr. Tsuzuki was sent into the emergency room. For a few minutes, he had stopped breathing . . .

Out in the waiting room Tsuzuki watched the clock slowly tick. Making a full turn to signal a minute, starting over as seconds and then completing its role as an hour. Ruka held onto Tsuzuki for what felt like the longest time in his life.

The nurse at the desk talked over the speaker phone, saying, "will the respective relatives of Tsuzuki Etsuya please come to the front desk." Tsuzuki and Ruka both rose and walked up to the front. "And you two are?"

"Ruka and Asato Tsuzuki. How is our father doing?" Ruka choked out.

"Go on up to third floor, go into room 25," the nurse directed.

When they were inside the room they rushed to their father's side. The doctor explained the diagnosis to them. "He seemed to have suffered from a severe heart attack, we don't know it he'll be able to live much longer. He seems stable at the moment but we'll keep an eye on him to see if any changes occur."

"Thank you, doctor," Ruka said.

"Tell me, has he been stressing lately? Doing hard labor of any kind?"

Ruka shamefully nodded. The doctor mentioned to her last time that she was to keep him away from these things but she seemingly failed.

"I did warn you of what could happen." The doctor's words cut into her like a knife. "Well . . . good day. Please take care."

As soon as the doctor left the room Tsuzuki turned to Ruka. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to have to burden you with this problem. You already have enough to worry about on your own."

"How long ago has this been?" Tsuzuki asked, ignoring his sister's implications of his well-being.

"The doctor warned father and I about fourteen years ago . . ."

"That long ago? You kept this from me for fourteen years!"

"I'm sorry, but you were still very young when he was first diagnosed for a risk."

Tsuzuki listened to the soft beeping of the life support machine. He was utterly disgusted with himself. Here he had been wallowing in his own problems and not thinking about others . . .

Am I that selfish? I don't want to be that way anymore . . .

For the rest of the night Tsuzuki and Ruka stayed by their father's bedside. A boy with silver colored hair poked his head inside briefly before he left. The next day when Tsuzuki woke up Ruka was standing by the window. Silent tears were streaming down her cheeks. Looking down at the bed he saw that his father was not there.

"Where's dad?" Tsuzuki asked, he was on the brink of panicking.

"They took him away . . . he died early this morning," Ruka replied, through fitful sobs.

"Where did they take him, Ruka?" Tsuzuki's voice was merely above a whisper. "Why didn't they wake me up?"

"They woke me up but I told them to let you rest. You looked tired . . ."

"Ruka!" Tsuzuki said in an anguished voice.

"Calm down."

"Where did they take him?" he asked again.

"To the section for dead people. We need to schedule for a funeral date right away."

"Ruka, you're acting as if this isn't a big deal." Tsuzuki grabbed at his hair and yanked it out of anger.

"It is a big deal but we should remain calm. I'm sure father wouldn't want you to mope all day over him . . . he told me once before that if he died; just think of it as a passing."

"Passing my ass!" It was unlike Tsuzuki to curse but now seemed like the appropriate time to do so. "Dad, you fucking asshole! Why did you die on us and leave us alone!"

"Tsuzuki!" Ruka reprimanded.

Nurses cam in to see what all the shouting was about. "Are you two okay?"

"Yes, sorry nurse, we'll be right out soon," Ruka said.

"You sure?" She glanced over at Tsuzuki who was slumped over the bed crying his eyes out.

Time really did fly by fast . . . it seemed like his father had died in an instant - too fast for Tsuzuki's liking. Just like the day when Mayu moved away . . .


	10. Chapter 9: Saying Goodbye?

Disclaimer: I do not and will never own YnM, all the characters are the sole property of Yoko Matsushita. I'm merely borrowing them.

A/N: Sorry that I took so long to update . . . Had writer's block . . . Here's the next piece, enjoy! And thank you for keeping up with my story, Ama and Loretta! XD

Pieces of Me

Chapter 9: Saying Goodbye?

By: LadyYuina

Tsuzuki rummaged through his father's belongings. Something shiny caught his eye. Upon closer inspection it was a silver chained necklace. Tsuzuki fingered the exotic carvings that were engraved on the heart shaped piece.

"That's mother's necklace," Ruka said, standing behind him. "That was the first piece of jewelry that we found you--I mean that was the first piece of jewelry that father gave mother."

Not really thinking over what she just almost let slip he said, "it's beautiful."

"I'm surprised he still had it." Ruka rummaged through a box that had some antiques in it. "Think we should sell these?"

Tsuzuki turned in her direction and eyed the box. "Should we?"

"Father's will didn't mention anything about these . . ."

"Oh yeah . . ." Tsuzuki replayed the will in his mind.

This is my will and if you are reading this I am no longer alive. Asato, Ruka, I want you two to remain together and keep the house. All the money that I hid under the chest of clothes, you two can have. Everything in the house belongs to the both of you now, even my belongings. Do what you like with them. Goodbye.

The will was short and simple but it meant everything to Tsuzuki and Ruka. Owning everything in the house really took it's toll on them as they couldn't really decide on what to get rid of and what to keep.

A soft tapping was heard from the front door.

"Can you go answer that, Tsuzuki?"

"Sure," Tsuzuki said as he quickly got up. It wasn't surprising when he saw Ruka's friends at their front doorstep.

"Oh, Tsuzuki, hey. I'm sorry about your father, we just heard about the news," Benito solemnly said.

"It's okay . . . come on in." He moved out of the way as Benito, Joruri and Kohei walked in.

"Oh, hey guys, glad you all could come. Tsuzuki and I sure can use some help," Ruka said.

"We'll gladly help, what do you want us to do?" Joruri asked. Her short jet black curls lightly brushed the tips of her shoulders. Ruka looked over at the statues that were by the kitchen. "Help me move some of those statues to the living room, I need to sort them out."

"Okay, we'll get to it," Benito replied.

Once Ruka's friends were out of earshot, Tsuzuki asked, "are you sure you want to sell everything of dad's?" This was starting to make him feel as if she was getting rid of stuff to save up money so they could move out but that wasn't the case.

"I never said I was going to sell everything." Ruka presented him with a short-lived scowl.

"But it seems like you're going to."

"Don't worry about it, if there's something you want to keep, just tell me."

Tsuzuki started down at the necklace that was in his hand. "For starters, I'll keep this necklace of mom's."

"Suit yourself."

Tsuzuki pocketed the precious treasure. He stared at the calendar on the wall. "Dad's funeral is this Sunday?"

"Yeah… we decided together, don't you remember?" Ruka picked up something out of a dusty box and examined it. Tsuzuki creased his brows. "I don't remember agreeing to it."

"You were worn out, I guess you weren't really thinking about it when we discussed it."

"Hmmm, okay." He grabbed a book he saw lying by the bookshelf to their right living room wall and pulled it out. It was a photo album. "I never saw this photo album."

"Hm?"

"Ruka!" Joruri shouted.

"Hang on Tsuzuki, I'll be right back. Coming Ju!" Her footsteps disappeared down the hallway.

Tsuzuki softly rubbed his palm on the hilt of the photo album cover. The soft, dusty leather felt comforting to the touch. He gasped when he opened it, on the first page was his mother. Her gentle smile radiated from the page.

Mom.

"Ooohhh, you found this photo album," Ruka explained, as she stood behind her brother. He turned his head slightly to acknowledge her presence. "It's been missing for twelve years, I remember when father was searching for it but he never found it."

"It was in the bookshelf with all the other books." Tsuzuki replied as he let out a dry chuckle. Ruka swatted him on the head and laughed with him. "Mom looks really pretty. Her eyes are like the depths of the sea."

Ruka laughed. "I'm gonna go ahead and get the rest of the stuff moved, you can keep looking in it."

Tsuzuki watched her walk off as she made her way towards Kohei. His attention was then reverted back to the page that was laid out before him. He went on to the next one to see a photo of himself, his little chubby cheeks stuck out as he held onto his mother. The next one down showed Ruka and Tsuzuki hugging when he was just three, his face looked a little blue.

"Haha, you're hugging me too tightly," Tsuzuki mumbled out loud to himself. He continued to scroll through the rest of the photos, some brought back memories while some were left to his imagination.

That night at dinner, Ruka, Tsuzuki and her friends had a discussion about the future.

"So, Ruka, you think you'll ever get married?" Joruri asked.

Ruka blushed and said, "I haven't found anyone suitable yet."

"What about you, Tsuzuki?" Kohei asked. "After all, we aren't getting any younger, you're twenty-six right?"

Tsuzuki nodded his head. "And Ruka is now thirty."

"We're all getting old," Kohei complained. He placed his elbows up on the dinner table and leaned his chin on his hands. "I want to have kids someday too."

"How old are you?" Tsuzuki asked.

Kohei grunted in disgust. Tsuzuki didn't know whether it was directed at him for asking this question or it was proclaimed to Kohei himself. In a uneasy way, Tsuzuki stared at Kohei as he continued to grunt to himself. The others exchanged nervous glances before placing their gaze on Kohei again.

"Did I-"

"No, you didn't say anything to offend me if that's what you're thinking. I'm forty-two years old." Kohei sighed this time and plopped is head into his hands.

Tsuzuki's eyes grew overwhelmingly large. "What! You look like you're in your twenties!"

"Haha, you kidding me? He looks like a teenager!" Joruri added. She lightly elbowed Kohei who still had his head in his hands and he was now doing a shaking movement of the head. Benito stared at him, when he didn't look up he asked, "you okay? Did we hurt your feelings?" Kohei still didn't look up but now his shoulders started to tremble.

"Kohei?" Ruka asked, uncertain of what to expect.

"Uuueeeehhhhh, you guys are the best!" Kohei bounced out of his chair and hugged Joruri. "Do I really look that young?" Everyone burst out laughing.

Ruka eyed him closely. "You really do, now that I think about it. You're so lucky to have such a young looking face and a fit body."

"Is it because of his chocolate brown eyes that makes him look young? If that is so, I think he looks like a kid," Tsuzuki said.

"Tsuzuki!" Kohei said jokingly. "If I look like a kid then you look like a middle aged man!"

"Ahem guys, aren't we a little off the subject?" Benito asked. "Let's get back to the conversation at hand."

"Right," they chorused.

"Mind helping me with the invitation cards, Tsuzuki?" Ruka handed him a pile of blank cards.

"Sure, what do you want me to do?"

"Help me write down the dates, I'll do the rest," Ruka instructed.

"Okay."

"We'll give them out today, better to let people know well before the funeral."

Tsuzuki gave her a funny look, in which she returned one of her own. "Um . . . the funeral is in three days, you call that early?"

"Hum . . . I guess not, oh well."

Pretty soon they were out on the road. They went from house to house of their father's many friends. "How many friends does he have?" Tsuzuki asked.

"A lot."

"This might take all day," Tsuzuki whined. He glimpsed a cotton candy stand which made him stop immediately. "Let's take a break and get something sweet to eat. Like cotton candy for example!"

"Soon okay? I want to pass out a few more."

At one of the crossings that Tsuzuki and Ruka were going over a out of control carriage came wheeling by. "Watch out!" Tsuzuki shouted as he pushed his sister out of the way. A horse neighed and the sounds of bones crushing, limbs tearing, and screaming could be heard. Blood splattered onto Ruka's face.

Wide eyed she cried out her brother's name over and over. "Tsuzuki! On no . . . Tsuzuki! Tsuzuk. . .!"

Out on the street was the mangled form of Tsuzuki Asato. A bright and a usually cheerful man, only twenty-six years of age, and he almost saw his life flash before his very eyes… Brunette hair bathed in blood matted his cheeks and forehead. Slow, uneven breaths rose and fell with the erotic beating of his heart as he struggled to breathe. He had went into shock and didn't feel any of the pain.

Shouting at the top of her lungs, Ruka cried, "someone call for the ambulance! He needs medical attention right away!" A crowd had gathered around the body of Tsuzuki. Paramedics soon arrived and rook him to Muraki Inc. Hospital.

"Dear lord, this one looks really bad. Think he's gonna make it?"

"Hmmm, not sure."

"He's in shock, he doesn't feel any pain but when he recovers he will so bring over some painkillers, Nanami."

"Okay."

"He has . . .let's see . . ." Upon inspection of the body, face, arms and legs the doctor found a lot of injuries. "Three broken ribs, an arm, six toes, fractured skull, internal bleeding and a busted nose. Get me the tubes. He can barely breathe on his own any longer."

"We need to stop the internal bleeding first."

"What type blood is he?" A piece of paper was passed around to a pair of gloved, bloodied hands. "Type A."

"Going to get some now, he's losing a lot."

"Guys hurry up with the tools, this patient needs to be cut open as soon as possible. (A/N: I don't really know the procedures that a doctor goes through and I'm pretty sure someone with that many injuries cannot survive for long but . . . Tsuzuki is tough! Tsuzuki is the bomb! LoL . . . He'll live . . .) Sedate him, Kotarou."

Tsuzuki watched as the men and women scurried around his body, sticking tubes and stickers here and there along his entire body. Despite all their probing and touching, he couldn't feel a single thing. A gas mask was placed over his face, his eyes drifted shut within moments.

Ruka once again found herself waiting in the waiting area. She could remember the day she was here huddled in Tsuzuki's arms and having a conversation with him. She moved around every so often and kept glancing at the clock. This reminded her too much of the time of their father. She didn't want to lose Tsuzuki either, like she had already lost her mother and father. She never expected to say goodbye to him . . .just yet . . .

He's such an idiot! Why did he push me out of the way! That should have been me! It's all my fault!

Ruka stayed till she was forced to go. "Miss, you've been here all day, please go home and get some rest. Get cleaned up even." Ruka slowly opened her eyes, they were bloodshot. Her hair was greasy and her face had blood splattered here and there.

"No . . . I need to stay."

"You're Tsuzuki Ruka, correct?" the man asked. She nodded. "Asato is still in intensive care, please go home and get some rest."

With much urging, Ruka was taken home. Stumbling into the bathroom she went into the shower fully clothed. Tears intermingled with the warm water that rained down upon her head. Red water could be seen as it went down the shower drain.

Tsuzuki . . . I'm not going to say goodbye to you. You better hang on . . .


	11. Chapter 10: Never Letting Go

Disclaimer: I do not and will never own YnM, all the characters are the sole property of Yoko Matsushita. I'm merely borrowing them.

All that remains after this is the epilogue, the story is coming to an end . . . Hope you all enjoyed the story! XD

Pieces of Me

Chapter 10: Never Letting Go

By: LadyYuina

Ruka sat down in the living room with her friends. They tried their best to comfort her.

"Ruka, it wasn't your fault . . ." Joruri soothed. "I bet you would have done the same thing if it were you in his shoes."

"I-I should have moved! Done anything so Tsuzuki wouldn't have to push me out of the way!"

"Is he hurt bad?" Benito asked quietly.

"I don't know . . . but out on the street he looked really bad . . ." Ruka explained. She couldn't control the tears that were flowing down her cheeks. "I don't want to lose Tsuzuki, I will have no one left . . ."

"We'll stay with you," Benito said, as he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "That's what friends are for, right? We help each other out."

"Wanna go check on him?" Kohei asked. Ruka nodded, glad that someone mentioned to her that they should go see him.

On the way to the hospital, scenes of yesterday kept coming back to haunt Ruka. Tsuzuki had been right all along . . .when you were left to yourself to truly think things over some stuff really does come back to haunt you. Whether it had been yesterday, a week ago or even years ago.

--Flashback--

This might take all day," Tsuzuki whined. "Let's take a break and get something sweet to eat!"

"Soon okay? I just want to pass out a few more." Ruka waved her brother away when he poked her every so often to say, "now?"

At one of the crossings that Tsuzuki and Ruka were going over a out of control carriage came wheeling by. "Watch out!" Tsuzuki shouted as he pushed her out of the way. Ruka, apparently had just stood there and watched the carriage approach her. She was so terrified.

--Flashback (END)--

I froze into place onto that one spot, that moment in time took my breath away when I saw the carriage sliding right at me. My eyes were gazed over momentarily until Tsuzuki pushed me. He didn't have to get in the way . . .

"We're here," Kohei announced. Ruka snapped out of her musings and sat bolt upright. With lightening like speed she walked into the hospital. The others were not far behind her.

"Where is Tsuzuki Asato?" she demanded as she got to the front counter. The nurse looked at her with startled hazel eyes. "Which room is he in, goddamnit!"

"Should I call the security?" the nurse asked the woman beside her. She shook her head and said, "let her pass."

"He's in Room 14, floor 2," she replied.

"Thank you." Ruka started for the stairs. Arriving at the room's door, Ruka hesitated in opening the door. A silent nod from her friends told her that she should open it and she did. Looking inside, Ruka saw her brother covered in bandages from head to toe. He lifelessly looked at her.

"Tsuzuki?" she called out. No answer. Joruri took a seat while the rest stood and watched.

"He looks really done in," Joruri commented. "His whole body is bandaged."

Ruka placed a gentle hand on Tsuzuki's cheek. She couldn't help but feel tears well up in the corner of her eyes. She closed them and felt tears come streaming down, one teardrop landed on Tsuzuki's cheek. Just then a nurse walked in, she looked at each one of them for a second before walking to Tsuzuki's side to tend to him.

"How's he doing?" Ruka asked.

"I'm sorry, but were you four given permission to see this patient?" the nurse asked. "The doctor specifically said that visitors shouldn't be allowed yet as-"

"I'm his sister . . . I came because I was worried about him," Ruka argued. The nurse looked at her with an annoyed expression on her face. This only made Ruka more angry. "Look, I spent all of last night thinking over what had happened the last few days, everything is passing by me so quickly. I'm sure your hospital had a patient by the name of Tsuzuki Etsuya omitted here last week and you must know that he passed away in this very hospital. So don't going parading around saying that no visitors are allowed . . .

"Because . . . because if I lost Tsuzuki . . . I'd . . ." Ruka burst into tears as she could find no more words to say to fuel her anger further. The nurse promptly gave Tsuzuki some medication with a needle before haughtily leaving the room. Benito stared daggers at her as she passed by him.

Joruri stared at a folder that was left on the table beside Tsuzuki's bed. Going over she picked it up and skimmed through it. "The nurse must have forgotten this." The others watched as Joruri's face went from indifference to shock.

"What is it, Joruri?" Ruka asked.

"Oh my god . . .the injuries that Tsuzuki obtained-"

"What is it?" Ruka asked again, but this time her voice sounded more frantic.

"Three broken ribs, broken arm, six broken toes, fractured skull, internal bleeding and a broken nose . . ." Everyone in the room shuddered. Just hearing about it made them queasy.

"That pain must've been unbearable . . . was he shouting the whole time?" Benito asked.

"Benito!" Joruri scolded.

Ruka shook her head and lightly smiled. She glanced over at her brother who seemed to be staring up at the ceiling, she didn't know whether he was aware of what he was doing or he was just spacing out somewhere in his own little world.

"Let's go guys." All heads snapped in Ruka's direction.

"You sure?" Kohei asked. "I mean, we pretty much just got here."

"Yes, let's go . . ." Ruka managed to choke out a second time. "I need to prepare for my father's funeral."

"Okay," Kohei replied. His shoulders sagged considerably as he felt pity for his friend.

On the day of the funeral Ruka cried her eyes out, the tears seemed to never end. Apparently she wasn't only crying for her father but for Tsuzuki as well. She cried and cried silently as the preacher said the sermons and had the coffer lowered. Tsuzuki never came to the funeral as he was in no condition to come anyway.

Back at home, Ruka laid in her bed feeling extremely depressed. She had a deceased father and a hospitalized brother who looked like his recovery was slim. Because just the other day she received a call from the hospital telling her that Tsuzuki was probably never going to go back to the way he was. The fractured skull he had seemed to have affected his mental and physical being.

"My life is ruined . . . I've practically lost everything that is important to me," Ruka shrieked. She picked up a pillow and tossed it at her closet door. Joruri who was beside her bedside said, "hush Ruka, you didn't lose everything, you still have Tsuzuki no matter what state he is in."

"But it'll never be the same, Joruri. I'm going to miss his sunny smile and energetic attitude, he always brought happiness to me whenever I was sad . . . he was the silent pillar that supported me when I felt like falling . . . like giving up. I already knew he had problems of his own deep down inside but he never showed them to me nor was he ever willing to.

"I'm such a selfish sister, I had let him battle his own inner demons and fears alone. That isn't fair after how he had helped me through the years."

"Don't forget. You were there for him in his school days, I'm sure he found solace in you then. He's told me many times before that you were such a good sister, he couldn't have asked for a better one in the world. Though he said you did become a little bothersome when you kept pestering over him to tell you what was irking him at times." Ruka let out a little laugh. As humorous as she wanted it to sound, it sounded like a restrained sob. "I guess he felt the need to repay you."

"I have a confession to make, I should have told you sooner but I was scared . . ." Joruri looked at Ruka questioningly. "You see . . . Tsuzuki isn't my real brother, I found him but I love him just as much as a real sister would love his real brother."

Joruri bowed her head. "I can see that."

"At first, when I brought that little bundle of joy home my parents were so happy. They . . . they had always wanted more children but my mother was unable to after she had me. Before you go grumbling that we kidnapped Tsuzuki or something I need to tell you that there was a note in his cradle . . . It had said his name was Asato and please whoever found him should keep him. The writing was messy and hard to read but that was all I could decipher. It sounded like his real mother was in a jam, I mean-"

"It's okay, Ruka, you should be glad that you rescued him that day. Anything could have happened to him if he had remained out there any longer," Joruri added.

Ruka continued on her story as if Joruri had never interrupted. "The most gorgeous thing I thought were his amethyst eyes, they sparkled with curiosity when I picked him up. He was so adorable, I couldn't imagine why his mother would abandon him . . . but I'm assuming the note might have said something about it. Now that I think back I wished I had kept that letter . . ."

"For starters, why are you only telling me this?" Joruri asked, as Ruka made no sign to continue any further. "I think Benito and Kohei deserve to know too. They're right outside in the living room, we could have called them in to listen."

"My confession . . . I felt the need to not speak it in front of a man, whom ever they may be. Please don't tell the others, I want this to be just between you and me, okay?"

"But why?"

"I just feel the need to leave it as is, just don't tell the others." Ruka got out of her bed and went towards the window to look outside at the sun. "Promise me."

Speak of this to no other man.

"Okay."

Why did he say that to me that night . . .? And why did he . . .

Getting up herself, Joruri left Ruka's bedroom, Ruka made no notion to follow. "I'm gonna go home." Ruka didn't reply. "I'll ask Kohei and Benito to drop me off, see you later."

Rustling of feet and muffled voices could be heard, then the opening and closing of a door.


	12. Epilogue: Freedom

Disclaimer: I do not and will never own YnM, all the characters are the sole property of Yoko Matsushita. I'm merely borrowing them.

Here is the epilogue. I have a sequel for this coming up . . . well, sort of like a sequel . . . Keep an eye out for it sometime soon! It will be called, "When Heaven and Hell Collide." I'd like to thank everyone that has reviewed this story, I wouldn't have finished this without you all motivating me! Loretta, Ama, you two are twins, huh? I'd never expected that.

And in the epilogue Ruka is old! She's 100! Live long and proud, girl! XD

Pieces of Me

Epilogue: Freedom

By: LadyYuina

Tsuzuki inexplicitly sorted through the events of the day, weeks and months. They were all hazy and really hard to remember, he had remained in this hospital for what seemed like years, maybe even decades. Pieces of himself were slowly coming together but it wasn't enough for him to truly understand his somewhat bland existence.

Why do I still remain here?

No one ever visited him, not anymore. There used to be this girl that he saw once every week, she'd always bring a sweet of some kind but he never ate them. They all ended up in the trash as nurses would come to clean is room every few days. Out of the blue, her visits became less frequent and she looked so old . . . so tired.

What happened?

On occasions, a boy with silvery white hair would come in to see him. He never stayed long but having his presence in the room made it feel much warmer, even though it was fleeting. Sometimes, he had another boy that accompanied him, they never did anything much but argue in front of him, the silver haired one would always leave the room crying.

Who were they?

Tsuzuki sat straight up in bed and looked towards the open window. Removing the sheets from around his legs he got out of bed and went towards it . . . They were beckoning to him, promising him freedom.

Freedom?

Peering down at the streets didn't faze Tsuzuki at all as he sat at the windows edge. A gentle breeze blew through his hair, he liked the cool air on the contact of warm skin. Tsuzuki stared down at the tube that was hooked onto his right arm, with much effort he yanked it off. Blood started to pool out of his arm but he didn't care.

Everything looks so different. How long has it exactly been?

Tsuzuki got to his feet and remained from falling over to his doom by holding onto the window sill. A small crowd had started to form when they caught sight of a brunette haired man standing on a window sill, his hospital clothes billowed in the wind.

"Is he going to jump?"

"Does anyone in that hospital even know what this man might be attempting?"

"Someone should go warn them!"

"He might actually do it."

Tsuzuki looked down at the spectators. Some were talking and pointing at him while other simply just stared. Tsuzuki almost slipped and lost his balance as dizziness started to fog his mind, a gasp escaped from the growing crowd.

What is . . . this feeling?

"Oh my god, he almost lost his balance!"

"I've seen this man before."

"He's Tsuzuki Asato isn't he?"

At the mention of the name, a frail old woman with navy blue eyes made her way towards the crowd. She stared up at the building where a brunette haired man stood over a window. His piercing amethyst gaze roamed the crowd below him.

"Tsuzuki . . . no."

These people . . .

Screams were heard as Tsuzuki took the leap. His hospital clothes fanned out on either side of him, his hair flying this way and that, freely in the air. It ended just as fast as it had happened. A car alarm went off as Tsuzuki landed right on top of it, blood spilled out around him, he had died instantly. After seventy long and disorientating years in the hospital, Tsuzuki finally could rest by committing suicide. The ironic thing was he didn't look a day older from when he was first submitted and he was denied food and water because neither he nor his sister had the money to pay for the bill, but he had still lived . . .

"He jumped, oh shit!"

"Suicide!"

"Tsuzuki Asato jumped!"

"I can't believe I just witnessed this!"

"How awful."

Navy blues eyes brimmed over with tears as they stared at the dead man upon the car. The old woman shook her head before turning around and limping away, her cane made soft clacking noises as it hit the hard pavement covering. She still refused to say goodbye even though he has now departed from this world. It seemed like she would never say it . . . She was never going to let go . . . No mattter what . . .


End file.
